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Witty Funny Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Witty Funny Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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You can't stand when I have my eyes set on someone else, but don't you realize that I go weak when I'm around you. I always laugh and smile at your jokes even when they're not funny. I take every single chance I have to talk to you. You make me melt in many different ways. I'm crazy about you, but would I ever confess this? I don't think I ever will. It's not that I'm scared. It's just that, you'll never feel the same way.
Unknown
192 Likes
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Christmas brings enormous electric bills. Candles are used for Hanukkah. Not only are we spared enormous electric bills, but we get to feel good about not contributing to the energy crisis.
Unknown
7 Likes
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Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.
Unknown
147 Likes
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What's the point of a high school reunion? I have Facebook. I already know you got fat.
Unknown
648 Likes
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So you wanna hear a joke, its not funny so you wont laugh, so there are three tomatoes walking down the street mamma tomato pappa tomato and baby tomato, so baby tomato starts lagging behind and pappa tomato gets mad and goes back and squashes baby tomato and says ketchup.
Pulp Fiction
44 Likes
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What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.
Anonymous
102 Likes
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An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."
Unknown
1496 Likes
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Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.
Unknown
501 Likes
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I moved to New York to do theater, and I got cast in a play that was funny, and then I was the funny guy. I did a movie that was funny, and then I was the funny guy.
Steve Zahn
1 Likes
Food, love, career, and mother, the four major guilt groups.
Unknown
32 Likes
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When I tweet, I tweet to kill.
Unknown
193 Likes
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I remember watching Gilda Radner when I was a kid and everyone thought she was so funny and no one ever said that she was a funny woman, she was just funny.
Rachel Dratch
2 Likes
My swimsuit told me to go to the gym. But my sweatpants were like, Nah girl, you're good.
Unknown
86 Likes
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Your wit makes others witty.
Catherine II
1 Likes
Wu-Tang is still the Witty Unpredictable.
Raekwon
4 Likes
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I grew up doing musical theater. So, I was immediately attracted to the music and performance aspects of it. That fact that it's actually funny, not trying to be funny, but actually funny was appealing, too.
Chris Colfer
3 Likes
A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.
Bobby Darin
1 Likes
Since she got a cause and stopped being funny. I think she's real funny, but lately it's all been hearts and flowers and tears and saving teenagers and creating a role model. And that ain't funny. No giggles there.
Andy Richter
5 Likes
I feel so miserable without you, its almost like having you here.
Unknown
28 Likes
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When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a friends Facebook account: 'I LOVE D*CK IN MY MOUTH!'
Unknown
843 Likes
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