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Witty Facebook Status Quotes & Sayings
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Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
Unknown
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Why are hoes like 'Oh, its winter, I need a boyfriend to keep me warm?' No bi..., buy a coat.
Unknown
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The hardest part of a business, is minding your own.
Unknown
635 Likes
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Am I on facebook because I'm bored, or am bored because I'm on facebook?
Unknown
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Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.
Unknown
501 Likes
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Today is national animal day. Please take a moment to remember your ex.
Unknown
502 Likes
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Bi... posted a picture on facebook and said, 'I don't like this one.' why the f*ck you post it then?
Unknown
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Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fu..ing blue.
Unknown
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Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.
Unknown
536 Likes
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Sometimes I wish I was a bird. So I could fly over certain people and sh.. on their heads!
Unknown
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If someone says expect the unexpected slap them in the face and say 'I bet you didn't expect that!'
Unknown
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Scientist say that universe is made up of Electrons, Protons and Neutrons...They forgot to mention MORONS...
Unknown
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If people could see the face I make when I read their Facebook status updates, they would probably Unfriend me.
Unknown
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Why do porn sites have a 'Share to Facebook' button? Who watches porn and thinks, 'You know who'd really enjoy this? My family and friends.'
Unknown
328 Likes
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WELCOME TO FACEBOOK; The place where people add you as a friend & walk past you in the street. Where relationships are perfect, affairs are started, & liars believe they are telling the truth. Your enemies visit your profile the most, yet your friends & family block you, & even though you write what you are really thinking, someone always takes it the wrong way, & people think your status is about them.
Unknown
424 Likes
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Welcome to Facebook. The Weather today: An 80% chance of game requests, a 10% chance of pokes, and a 100% certainty of drama
Unknown
345 Likes
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Facebook: the only book teens read these days.
Azgraybebly Joslan
408 Likes
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You wanna cry? Try using a tissue, it works much better than your Facebook status.
Unknown
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Dear Boys, Being a di.. isnt going to make yours bigger. Just saying.
Unknown
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You can't be late until you show up.
Unknown
411 Likes
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