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Witty Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Witty Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Am I on facebook because I'm bored, or am bored because I'm on facebook?
Unknown
469 Likes
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life is like mario bro's, ya have to slay a lot of dragons before ya meet ya princess.
Unknown
64 Likes
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I gave that bi... a plunger, 'cause bi...es love bringing up old shit.
Unknown
264 Likes
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Editors at fashion magazines, you're doing a great job. Women continue to hate their bodies...
Unknown
75 Likes
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Sometimes I wish I was a bird. So I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads!
Unknown
452 Likes
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Opinions are like orgasms. Mine's the most important and I really don't care about yours.
Unknown
90 Likes
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Do not touch MY iPhone. It's not an usPhone, it's not a wePhone, it's not an ourPhone. It's an iPhone.
Ritu Ghatourey
268 Likes
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My girlfriend asked me to make her feel special...so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
Unknown
204 Likes
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Girls are like Google. They start guessing before you end the sentence.
Unknown
163 Likes
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Why are ho.. like 'Oh, its winter, I need a boyfriend to keep me warm?' No bi..., buy a coat.
Unknown
498 Likes
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Some people are just like some schools during summer, they have, NO CLASS.
Unknown
578 Likes
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I like most people as long as they're not behind a steering wheel or a keyboard.
Unknown
213 Likes
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My alarm clock & I had a fight. It wanted me to get up, I refused. Things escalated. Now I'm awake & its broken. Not sure who won the fight.
Unknown
90 Likes
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Dear Pringles, Now that I am no longer a child, I can no longer fit my hand inside your tube of deliciousness. Work on that.
Unknown
181 Likes
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Dear Boys, Being a d..k isnt going to make yours bigger. Just saying.
Unknown
322 Likes
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I hate Halloween. Every year I get kids knocking my door dressed like skeletons asking me for food. I'm glad I don't live in Ethiopia.
Unknown
47 Likes
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Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.
Francis Bacon
0 Likes
Witty quotes
No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more than she can be witty only by the help of speech.
Richard Steele
5 Likes
Witty quotes
Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.
William Congreve
9 Likes
Witty quotes
If it were not for the company of fools, a witty man would often be greatly at a loss.
Francois La Rochefoucauld
1 Likes
Witty quotes
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