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Care Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Care Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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What do you call a computer that can sing? A dell.
Unknown
208 Likes
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I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd, at times - maybe some would say dirty - jokes. But in jest.
Sarah Michelle Gellar
35 Likes
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Eric Morecambe
44 Likes
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Zac Efron is like a brother who's just goofy and crazy. He plays a lot of practical jokes.
Ashley Tisdale
30 Likes
Robert Pattinson must be the only guy in the world who enjoys his girlfriend being on her period.
Unknown
75 Likes
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My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
Bob Monkhouse
145 Likes
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I think the more the actor lets you know what he thinks of the character, the less the audience cares - like a comedian who laughs at his own jokes.
Neil LaBute
0 Likes
Children always know when company is in the living room - they can hear their mother laughing at their father's jokes
Unknown
73 Likes
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My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?'
Steven Wright
72 Likes
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Condoms are like women...most of the time they're pretty annoying, but you need them to get laid.
Unknown
119 Likes
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That awkward moment when your friend jokingly says something about you but it secretly true.
Unknown
101 Likes
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Want to look skinny without losing any weight? Hang out with fat people.
Unknown
210 Likes
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Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.
Unknown
224 Likes
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
Rodney Dangerfield
28 Likes
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I write for Reader's Digest. It's not hard. All you do is copy out an article and mail it in again.
Milt Kamen
51 Likes
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The roses have wilted, The violets are dead, Sugar is lumpy And so is your head.
Unknown
112 Likes
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We tend to care about the things more which we don't have and care less about the things we already have. This leads to dissatisfaction with present state of life.
Anurag Prakash Ray
15 Likes
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It feels good to hear someone say Take care! But it feels so much better to hear someone say I will take care of you.
Unknown
43 Likes
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I don't care about what they said don't care about what they do, no, no, no. They 'r just jealous anyway I just wanna be with you I wanna be with u too honey boo.
Alison Hinds
19 Likes
A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.
Spanish Proverb
21 Likes
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