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Care Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Care Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I don't care what people do. I don't care how people remember my albums. I do them for my own reasons.
Fiona Apple
4 Likes
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I dont care who anybody sleeps with. If a couple has been together all that time...and there are gay relationships that are more solid than some heteros..ual ones...I think its fine if they want to get married. I dont know how people can get so anti-something. Mind your own business, take care of your affairs, and dont worry about other people so much.
Betty White
41 Likes
The reason Gov. Romney passed Romneycare as governor of Massachusetts in 2006 was because many Republicans viewed health care reform, mandates and all, as a way to inoculate against Democratic charges that Republicans didn't care about people who lacked health insurance. Re
Ari Fleischer
0 Likes
When the girlfriend and I get in an argument, I begin to believe in flying saucers...and plates, pots, mugs...
Robert Paul
43 Likes
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The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car... Is having to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
Unknown
478 Likes
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I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle-baby.
Henry Youngman
41 Likes
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That awkward moment when you pose nude for your art teacher and you flunk the course.
Unknown
19 Likes
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A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.
Arnold H Glasgow
8 Likes
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Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
Frank Carson
63 Likes
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I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting gift. It was a comb.
Scott Roeben
47 Likes
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Phyllis Diller
37 Likes
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Ways to die: steal my food, touch me, look through my phone.
Unknown
145 Likes
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The moment when someone jokes about one of your insecurities and you have to pretend like it didn't bother you.
Unknown
179 Likes
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Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely turn their backs on their historical dishes, no matter how many jokes they might have to endure.
Nick Clooney
2 Likes
I remember, growing up, if something big, God forbid. happened, the first jokes you heard on the subject came out of Jersey.
Oscar Nunez
3 Likes
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When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.
Seth MacFarlane
2 Likes
I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh.
Simon Le Bon
4 Likes
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?
Anonymous
67 Likes
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Roger Ebert has had his right thumb trademarked. Now the police will actually have to pay him if he ever has to give a thumbprint.
Andy Waits
30 Likes
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When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
Henry Youngman
19 Likes
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