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Funny Bio For Twitter Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Bio For Twitter" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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It would be funny if, while performing an abortion, someone yelled 'abort! abort!'
Unknown
63 Likes
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All diseases run into one, old age.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
30 Likes
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People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
Hussein Nishah
303 Likes
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I haven't had s.. in so long I am considering becoming a born again virgin.
Ryan Swain
157 Likes
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I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate, but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
Shubham Joshi
170 Likes
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A friend is 1% funny, 2% sweet, 3% caring, 4% loving, 90% good looking. Thats why I am your friend! You are so lucky.
Unknown
549 Likes
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Your annual booze-fueled New Year's Eve spectacle will surely inspire us all to drink less in 2014.
Unknown
3 Likes
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I aint a redneck 'cause I talk American real good!
Alec Straub
164 Likes
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I feel lazy. In fact, I'm feeling lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
Unknown
164 Likes
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Lets attend an opulent New Year's Eve party so we can briefly ignore the horror of our impending poverty.
Unknown
6 Likes
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Confucius says Love one another. If it doesn't work, just interchange the last two words.
Hussein Nishah
554 Likes
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On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends-a-pokin & a creep who won't stop inboxing meeee!
Unknown
1205 Likes
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If you're a dude and it takes more than 20 seconds to take of your jeans because it's tight,You Gay !
Boat_Grandberry
51 Likes
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Seeing the irresponsibly dangerous stunts in the Spider-Man musical has prepared me for your New Year's behavior.
Unknown
8 Likes
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Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
Unknown
948 Likes
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Well hello, Mr. Hoodie. It has been a while since I needed to wear you. Hope you had a relaxing summer...now its back to work for you!
Unknown
35 Likes
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I hope the world ends in 2012 so I can't be held accountable for my New Year's resolutions.
Unknown
15 Likes
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Life is not a garden, don't be a hoe.
Unknown
1840 Likes
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Gaining 20 lbs over the holidays makes your New Year's resolution of losing 10 less impressive.
Unknown
8 Likes
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I could be a morning person. If morning happened to be around noon.
Unknown
248 Likes
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