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Funny Drug Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Drug Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.
Unknown
2419 Likes
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Id do anything for a perfect beach body, except work out and eat less.
Unknown
160 Likes
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Ive always been a big defender of [sippin] syrup. Even when [pi.p C] passed, when Screw passed, when Moe passed, I kinda made excuses. I said it was other things that killed them, just their whole lifestyle. Thats part of being a drug addict. You make excuses and try to validate what youre doing . . . My kids would wake me up in the morning and I wouldnt want to get out of bed. It was just the way they looked at me, and the way my wife would look at me. She was constantly trying to get me to stop. I wouldnt have any energy at times. The syrup makes you real irritable . . . I cant be a good father to my kids and be addicted to a drug, regardless of what drug it is. Growing up, I went to all the drug programs for the families of drug addicts. So I was always aware of the problem. Since I was related to a drug addict, I found myself turning into what Id hated all my life. Thats exactly what I was afraid of.
Paul Wall
25 Likes
I am sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen, smart, funny, caring, and absolutely stunning! Yes, I am looking in the mirror!
Ash Sweeney
585 Likes
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ESPN is reporting that the drug that resulted in Manny Ramirez's suspension from baseball was a fertility drug. How did a fertility drug make him a better baseball player. That's not his bat.
Seth Meyers
4 Likes
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Being fat is nature's way of saying, You're so good, I think I'll make more of you!
Unknown
422 Likes
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When I exercise, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.
Unknown
137 Likes
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And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
Will Rogers
206 Likes
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Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.
Robert Maynard Hutchins
77 Likes
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Don't you hate it when you're doing push-ups and you lose count after 1,000...
Unknown
147 Likes
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I don't get why gyms have mirrors...I know what I look like. That's why I'm there.
Unknown
122 Likes
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The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.
Robert Paul
2280 Likes
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If you're on the treadmill next to me, the answer is yes...we are racing.
Unknown
77 Likes
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Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
Ron Alderson
69 Likes
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Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
11 Likes
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People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
Hussein Nishah
303 Likes
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
Wanda Sykes
0 Likes
They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch comedy, and you get all your local drug dealers, thugs, prostitutes, all of them come in, sit down, and listen to you tell jokes. They the hardest people to make laugh.
Mike Epps
4 Likes
At the gym Boy doing sit-ups: '1...2...3...' Hot girl walks by Boy: '97...98...99...'
Unknown
193 Likes
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If swimming is such a good way to stay in shape; Explain whales...
Unknown
175 Likes
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