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Funny Ghetto Statuses Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Ghetto Statuses" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.
Unknown
546 Likes
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Dear Crush, don't be scared if a fat guy in a red suit snatches you away on Christmas Eve. Sincerely, You Were On My Wish List.
Unknown
229 Likes
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Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't sell drugs. The government hates competition.
Hussein Nishah
526 Likes
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Unknown
563 Likes
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Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money.
Unknown
41 Likes
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Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
Unknown
723 Likes
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Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. its only fair since youre getting the credit for the gifts, that you should start paying for them also...
Unknown
59 Likes
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I dont make enough money to go on vacation, so I'm just going to get drunk this weekend until I dont know where I am.
Unknown
382 Likes
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A drunken man was dreaming that he died and reincarnated on earth as a chicken. He became heavy and tried to lay an egg! He pushed and pushed and laid the 1st egg, then the 2nd. He was pushing to lay a 3rd egg when his wife screamed ''James! You're shitting on the bed!"
Unknown
604 Likes
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Set It Off? My shit was Wack in that, Man! I don't feel like I'm a good Actor. I feel like I can do it and I think I'm getting better at it. I think I'm gonna try it next year. Me & Snoop are gonna try and do something. But the reason I haven't done it this far is because I don't think I'm that good at it. Straight up, I didn't think I was that good at it. Over this last year I've been doin' a lotta tests just fu..in' around at home. Practicin' my actin' and havin' people film me, gettin' a couple of my friends that are Actors; just actin' 'em out and what have you. I think I can pull it off now. So next year sometime you'll probably see me on that silver screen. Me & Snoop are plannin' to do a mixture of Car Wash and a Ghetto-ass Odd Couple. (I let out a good laugh at the thought of it) So that's what we gonna try to do.
Dr Dre
11 Likes
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I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order of nuggets, and DIS order of wings and so on, so on, you get it.
Unknown
291 Likes
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My pillow is my best hair styler, every morning I wake up with a new hair style.
Unknown
382 Likes
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My ideal man would be funny and fat with a beard. I love fat men. I like real men. I don't like really feminine men who tan. I don't understand that. I like a funny man, though. Russell Brand's not quite my type, but if he had a fat, bearded friend, that would be perfect.
Kesha
38 Likes
My ideal man would be funny and fat with a beard. I love fat men. I like real men. I dont like really feminine men who tan. I dont understand that. I like a funny man, though. Russell Brands not quite my type, but if he had a fat, bearded friend, that would be perfect.
Kesha
18 Likes
I think it's funny that most people who claim to be 'pro life' are also pro gun. And by funny I mean sad. And by people I mean morons.
Unknown
26 Likes
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The problem is, obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is no-one runs in your family...
Unknown
585 Likes
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Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving. Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers. Man: Scissors, I win!
Unknown
1488 Likes
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Sorry the movie New Year's Eve will still be more enjoyable than your actual New Year's Eve.
Unknown
1 Likes
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I used to like watching the Carol Burnett Show. I thought Carol Burnett was very funny. And I liked Madeline Kahn a lot because in my house we were watching a lot of Mel Brooks movies and she was always in them and super funny. And Gilda Radner. I used to like watching Saturday Night Live. I always thought that she was hilarious.
Paul Rudd
14 Likes
Weird people are funny. If you're just completely normal, you're boring. So I so much prefer weird people to boring people.
Bobbie
29 Likes
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