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Funny Golf Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Golf Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Being fat is nature's way of saying, You're so good, I think I'll make more of you!
Unknown
422 Likes
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When I exercise, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.
Unknown
137 Likes
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They say he's [Yogi Berra] funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
Casey Stengel
7 Likes
Money quotes
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
Will Rogers
206 Likes
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Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.
Robert Maynard Hutchins
77 Likes
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Don't you hate it when you're doing push-ups and you lose count after 1,000...
Unknown
147 Likes
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He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going 'there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot.'
Bill Engvall
0 Likes
The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.
Robert Paul
2280 Likes
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I don't get why gyms have mirrors...I know what I look like. That's why I'm there.
Unknown
122 Likes
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If you're on the treadmill next to me, the answer is yes...we are racing.
Unknown
77 Likes
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Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
Ron Alderson
69 Likes
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The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
George Deukmejian
5 Likes
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The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
George Deukmejian
3 Likes
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Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
11 Likes
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People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
Hussein Nishah
303 Likes
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
Wanda Sykes
0 Likes
There are no maladies in my golf game. My golf game stinks.
Jack Nicklaus
0 Likes
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At the gym Boy doing sit-ups: '1...2...3...' Hot girl walks by Boy: '97...98...99...'
Unknown
193 Likes
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If swimming is such a good way to stay in shape; Explain whales...
Unknown
175 Likes
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
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