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Funny Iphone 5 Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Iphone 5 Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
If Big Sean's voice was Siri's Voice on the iPhone 5...'Turn left boiiii...Wait, HOLD UP! Whoa Dereee! Wrong way! Swerveeeee.'
Unknown
193 Likes
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Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
11 Likes
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People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
Hussein Nishah
303 Likes
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
Wanda Sykes
0 Likes
At the gym Boy doing sit-ups: '1...2...3...' Hot girl walks by Boy: '97...98...99...'
Unknown
193 Likes
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If swimming is such a good way to stay in shape; Explain whales...
Unknown
175 Likes
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
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People may think he's not perfect but in my mind he's beyond perfect when you're able to look into his eyes and see the real him. Having his arms wrapped around you because he cares more about you than anything, the way he says I love you and those cute little inside jokes nobody else would understand the way he giggles at your jokes even when they aren't even funny or the way he talks about you to his friends it makes you realize how much he means to you. His flaws make him perfect and when I'm around him I feel like everything's okay again and he's the solution to all my problems.
Unknown
564 Likes
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So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'
Henry Youngman
167 Likes
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All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
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What do you call a blind German? A not see!
Unknown
133 Likes
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I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.
Kevin Meaney
175 Likes
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
23 Likes
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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain
50 Likes
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got cut off? He's all right now.
Unknown
52 Likes
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I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
Unknown
618 Likes
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What do you call identical boobs? Identitties.
Unknown
110 Likes
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Hi. Um, my camel called...he wants his toe back!
Unknown
59 Likes
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So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said My dog's died.'
Tim Vine
18 Likes
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If the 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still 2?
Unknown
224 Likes
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