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Funny Killer Jokeses Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Killer Jokeses" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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The problem is, obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is no-one runs in your family...
Unknown
585 Likes
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Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving. Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers. Man: Scissors, I win!
Unknown
1488 Likes
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Sorry the movie New Year's Eve will still be more enjoyable than your actual New Year's Eve.
Unknown
1 Likes
New Year Funny quotes
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I used to like watching the Carol Burnett Show. I thought Carol Burnett was very funny. And I liked Madeline Kahn a lot because in my house we were watching a lot of Mel Brooks movies and she was always in them and super funny. And Gilda Radner. I used to like watching Saturday Night Live. I always thought that she was hilarious.
Paul Rudd
14 Likes
Weird people are funny. If you're just completely normal, you're boring. So I so much prefer weird people to boring people.
Bobbie
29 Likes
Funny quotes
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If couples who are in love are called 'love birds', then couples who always argue should be called 'angry birds.'
Unknown
1326 Likes
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I don't think fat is pretty. If I saw some big fat leopard walking through the jungle, I'd start laughing. Or if I was at the races, I saw some 150-lb. greyhound running against the other lean greyhounds, I'd start laughing too. It doesn't seem very natural. It doesn't look healthy. It doesn't look sleek or stealth. It looks funny. I think that's why people through history laugh at fat people. They're round and funny-looking.
Kirstie Alley
27 Likes
Facebook should have a limit on how many times a relationship status can be change ... after 3 times it should be change default to UNSTABLE!
Ronak Gurung
5225 Likes
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For April Fools Day, I think Facebook should switch the search box and the status update box around. So people would post updates on who they stalk.
Unknown
6546 Likes
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Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They dont know theyre being funny.
Stephen Colbert
491 Likes
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I too once had a family, Danny. Many years ago I lived in Japan: a pet of my master Yoshi, mimicking his movements from my cage and learning the mysterious art of Jinjitsu, for Yoshi was one of Japan's finest shadow warriors. His only rival was a man named Oroko Saki, and they competed in all things, but in nothing more fiercely than for the love of a woman, Thang Shin. Shin's love was only for my master and rather than see him fight Saki for her hand, she persuaded Yoshi to flee with me to America. But Saki vowed vengeance. I remember it well, as my master returned home to find his beloved Shin lying on the floor, and then he saw her killer. Saki wasted no words, and during the struggle, my cage was broken. I leapt to Saki's face, biting and clawing, but he threw me to the floor and took one swipe with his Katana, slicing my ear. Then he was gone, and I was alone. -Splinter
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
12 Likes
Women spend more time thinking about what men think, then men spend thinking!
Unknown
111 Likes
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Let's not spend New Year's Eve trying to figure out where to spend New Year's Eve.
Unknown
49 Likes
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So here we are... It's funny how so close can seem so far..
JCole
28 Likes
I'm really funny now.
Wanda Sykes
0 Likes
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They'll say, That's funny, but you can't do that on TV.
Shawn Wayans
1 Likes
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Unknown
87 Likes
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Funny is when you're serious.
Harvey Korman
0 Likes
Funny how the people who know you the least have the most to say about you.
Unknown
1 Likes
I have a funny name.
Pia Zadora
1 Likes
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