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Funny Monday Woking Oneliner Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Monday Woking Oneliner" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?"
Arlo Guthrie
21 Likes
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Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it werent for Christmas, Wed all be Jewish.
Benny Hill
92 Likes
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
Victor Borge
25 Likes
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Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls.
Unknown
693 Likes
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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
Unknown
137 Likes
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
85 Likes
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We would said to people, you know, you've been living here for 40 years, for 50 years. Your street is not paved. You have a dirt road. You don't have clean water. If you want to change that, you must register and you must vote. You can get someone else elected. Come to a mass meeting, come next Monday. The neighbors are coming. Your uncle is coming. Your children are coming. You should be there. I tell people, we're going to have a march for the right to vote. Don't be afraid. You may get arrested, but a lot of other people will be getting arrested with you. And some people would be convinced, and some would not.
John Lewis
9 Likes
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller
42 Likes
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May the New Year bring you significantly more joy than the holidays did.
Unknown
20 Likes
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This year let's resolve to make better bad decisions.
Unknown
30 Likes
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Having fun in the sun, getting laid in the shade, summer's here...
Unknown
40 Likes
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Thanks for inviting me to a New Year's party I'll have no recollection of attending.
Unknown
10 Likes
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People who are funny and smart and return phone calls get much better press than people who are just funny and smart.
Howard Simons
8 Likes
Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it's a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed.
Neil Gaiman
0 Likes
Sometimes at home I talk in my sleep, but at school I sleep while others are talking.
Unknown
473 Likes
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The President's message is to all Americans. It's important for all Americans to remember the traditions of our country that make us so strong and so free, our tolerance and openness and acceptance. All Americans and we come from a very rich cultural heritage, no matter what anybody's background in this country. And that's the strength of this country, and that's the President's message that he expressed in his speech to Congress and as he has done when he visited the mosque a week ago Monday, and in the meetings that he's hosting here at the White House today with Muslim Americans and Sikh Americans.
Ari Fleischer
5 Likes
I know its not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready.
Unknown
143 Likes
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Getting my dragon was perhaps the biggest surprise. I was in Amsterdam and got a little crazy, dropping my pants at a tattoo parlour and woke up the next morning and saw this really funny dragon. Ive always wanted a dragon but this one had a funny blue tongue. To me a dragon is very much a woman, strong and elegant.
Angelina Jolie
7 Likes
What I thought I was going to do over the summer: hang with friends, have a party, go swimming, go to the beach. What I did: Internet.
Unknown
110 Likes
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I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Bernard Manning
86 Likes
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