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Funny Short Status Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Short Status Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
'Lehme gedda uh' = I would like to order something from your fine establishment, but I have to make up my mind first.
Unknown
180 Likes
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Welcome to 2012: Presidents are black, rappers are white, and asians play basketball.
Unknown
340 Likes
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WELCOME TO FACEBOOK; The place where people add you as a friend & walk past you in the street. Where relationships are perfect, affairs are started, & liars believe they are telling the truth. Your enemies visit your profile the most, yet your friends & family block you, & even though you write what you are really thinking, someone always takes it the wrong way, & people think your status is about them.
Unknown
424 Likes
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On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bi...es, 11 fake people, 10 FB hackings, 9 new po.. websites, 8 wack statuses, 7 ho.. a slurping, 6 bums a posting, 5 ignorant bastards, 4 corny birds, 3 messages, 2 ugly friends, & a girl who smashed the wholeee team.
Unknown
560 Likes
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Good girls are found in every corner of earth. But unfortunately earth is round.
Anurag Prakash Ray
1495 Likes
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It's adorable when sleep tries to compete with Facebook.
Unknown
214 Likes
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Sorry but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin.
Unknown
450 Likes
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The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'
Zach Manal
320 Likes
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They should make a reality TV show called, 'Jersey Shore meets Shark Week.'
Unknown
155 Likes
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Need a friend? Text me. Need a laugh? Call me. Need money?! This number is no longer in service...
Unknown
835 Likes
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It's kinda funny how in 2010 and 2011 people were freaking out about 2012. Now it's 2 months from December and no one gives a shit.
Unknown
101 Likes
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I just read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?
Unknown
2862 Likes
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If I were a bathroom tile salesman, my pitch would be 'Think of how great this will look in the background of your social networking pics.'
Hussein Nishah
123 Likes
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At the store buying 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around and looked them in the eyes and said, 'Make it 52.'
Unknown
519 Likes
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No officer, I didn't see you in my rear view...my eyes haven't left my phone for at least the past 5 miles...
Unknown
100 Likes
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Calories are just little tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.
Unknown
520 Likes
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Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Unknown
842 Likes
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Best way to deal with haters: Keep calm, and stay classy!
Unknown
497 Likes
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Some people just need to change their status updates to, 'Needs attention.'
Unknown
257 Likes
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Hopefully one day your life will be as cool as you make it appear on Facebook.
Unknown
595 Likes
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