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Funny Simile Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Simile" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Unknown
14 Likes
Funny Marriage quotes
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You're only as good as your last haircut.
Fran Lebowitz
9 Likes
Funny quotes
You can't have everything....where would you put it?
Unknown
7 Likes
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Never floss with a stranger.
Joan Rivers
16 Likes
Funny quotes
When the wine is in, the wit is out.
Unknown
18 Likes
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Theirs nothing I can say that a Hallmark card couldnt say much better...
Unknown
25 Likes
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I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
Unknown
21 Likes
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It's funny how it unfolds when you shaking that tree. Look at me.
Stalley
5 Likes
Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P J ORourke
46 Likes
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Never fight an inanimate object.
P J ORourke
26 Likes
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O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
Saint Augustine
75 Likes
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Get well soon to someone who thinks they have the flu but probably doesn't.
Unknown
210 Likes
Funny Get Well quotes
I want you to know that whatever problems you're having, I'm here to read about it on Facebook.
Unknown
20 Likes
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Where the hell am I, and how did I get here?
Unknown
64 Likes
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If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Unknown
406 Likes
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I love that new wife smell.
Unknown
9 Likes
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Sorry even your gay friends will now be getting married before you.
Unknown
21 Likes
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'They're like 12!' The proper way to refer to anyone younger than you.
Unknown
37 Likes
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My dog growls at strangers because I can't.
Unknown
4 Likes
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Let's adopt a dog for you to take care of.
Unknown
5 Likes
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