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Funny Status In Real Life Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Status In Real Life" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Welcome to 2012: Presidents are black, rappers are white, and asians play basketball.
Unknown
340 Likes
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The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for a girlfriend.
Unknown
931 Likes
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Need a friend? Text me. Need a laugh? Call me. Need money?! This number is no longer in service...
Unknown
835 Likes
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Oh, you're a model? What's your agency? Instagram...
Unknown
686 Likes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Unknown
222 Likes
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Netflix is soo much better than going out and pretending to like people.
Hussein Nishah
167 Likes
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Starbucks acts like they're so fancy. You sell hot black water and muffins. Calm down.
Unknown
85 Likes
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I wonder if the clothes in China say, 'Made around the corner.'
Unknown
919 Likes
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In today's world, the key to success is to delete your Facebook account!
Unknown
972 Likes
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No man should ever make eye contact with another man while eating a banana or lollipop...
Unknown
691 Likes
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If Facebook is like dating, then Twitter is like a one night stand - it's fun while you're doing it, you finish in like 5 minutes, and you feel real cheap afterwards.
Unknown
201 Likes
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Life's like your Ex-boyfriend it has it's up it has it's down but in the end you still finish it.
Unknown
236 Likes
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Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes.
Unknown
434 Likes
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It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
Unknown
842 Likes
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Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept crashing.
Unknown
696 Likes
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My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.
Unknown
546 Likes
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The difference between a woman on her period and a terrorist is that you can negotiate with a terrorist.
Unknown
402 Likes
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Unknown
563 Likes
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Welcome to the real Internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are the FBI.
Unknown
347 Likes
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I don't understand those couples that fight and then a minute later change their Facebook status to 'Single.' I fight with my parents but you dont see me change my status to 'Orphan.'
Unknown
938 Likes
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