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Funny Status In Real Life Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Status In Real Life" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.
Unknown
501 Likes
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Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
Unknown
723 Likes
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Why is it that in girl tampons commercials they're always laughing and dancing? Shouldn't they be reving chainsaws & burning shit down?
Unknown
602 Likes
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Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want impress us, please shave a gorilla.
Unknown
499 Likes
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Apparently twilight is so popular because teenagers can relate to it. Oh yeah I remember the time when I was a vampire.
Unknown
678 Likes
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Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
Unknown
3567 Likes
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Real girls stay. ho.. come and go. Little boys play around. Real men settle down.
Unknown
333 Likes
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Welcome to Facebook. The Weather today: An 80% chance of game requests, a 10% chance of pokes, and a 100% certainty of drama
Unknown
345 Likes
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Spooning For girls: A nice, warm and cozy cuddle. For guys: A dead arm, a face full of hair and a awkward boner that you can't do anything about.
Unknown
424 Likes
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Men were born between a woman's legs and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in them. There's no place like home.
Unknown
666 Likes
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Are you free tomorrow? No, Im fu..ing expensive.
Unknown
2521 Likes
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Girls spend hours deciding what to wear, and all guys do is try to picture us naked.
Unknown
307 Likes
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Most people don't realize this, But you can actually go to the gym without telling Facebook about it.
Unknown
293 Likes
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Whatever you do in life, always give 100%...unless you're donating blood...
Unknown
450 Likes
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Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
Unknown
483 Likes
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It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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You say YOLO, thats a lie. YOU live everyday and you only die once!
Unknown
126 Likes
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You know how they say when you die, your whole life flashes before you? Well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Unknown
770 Likes
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You wanna cry? Try using a tissue, it works much better than your Facebook status.
Unknown
360 Likes
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Women are like internet viruses they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile...
Unknown
561 Likes
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