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Funny Things To Put On Twittt On Twitt Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Things To Put On Twittt On Twitt" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
Unknown
618 Likes
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We are too quick to put labels on things. It is my profession. I get up and paint. Everyone wants to put a label on it, but I am a free spirit, so I fight against that.
Geoffrey Holder
11 Likes
Profession quotes
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Put off your imagination, as you put off your overcoat, when you enter the laboratory. Put it on again, as you put on your overcoat, when you leave.
Claude Bernard
1 Likes
I always buy the smaller turkeys. On the pre-baste put pats of butter on the meat under the skin, put the skin back on, put a bunch of seasoning on the top, call it a day, put it in the oven. With a 10-12 pound turkey you are done in a couple of hours.
Sandra Lee
1 Likes
Whenever I get sad I just imagine a T-Rex trying to put a hat on.
Unknown
77 Likes
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers
12 Likes
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When I put on my coat to take out the garbage it didn't want to go!
Unknown
8 Likes
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If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.
Bobcat Goldthwait
888 Likes
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Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money.
Unknown
8 Likes
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Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.
Unknown
11 Likes
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It's funny how guys treat you like a princess when they're chasing after you, But when they get you they don't put as much effort anymore.
Unknown
21 Likes
Studying. Notice how they conveniently put "DYING" at the end of this word.
Unknown
86 Likes
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A woman is like a tea bag. She only knows her strength when put in hot water.
Unknown
9 Likes
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If you take a bunch of superstars and put them in a room where they don't have their assistants and entourage, it's funny to see what happens.
Daryl Hall
1 Likes
The new year will be like the old one if you keep on doing the same old things.
Jean-Paul Malfatti
290 Likes
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A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions.
Melchor Lim
101 Likes
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When we first talked to each other I knew we would always be friends. Our friendship has kept on growing and I'll be here for you to the end. You listen when I have a problem and help dry the tears from my face. You take away my sorrow and put happiness in its place. We can't forget the fun we've had. Laughing 'til our faces turn blue. Talking of things only we find funny. People think we're insane. If they only knew! I guess this is my way of saying thanks for catching me when I fall. Thanks once again for being such a good friend and being here with me through it all.
Unknown
605 Likes
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If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been something I said.
Unknown
189 Likes
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You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it.
Colin Quinn
1 Likes
I'm not so funny. Gilda was funny. I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. But she was funny. She spent more time worrying about being liked than anything else.
Gene Wilder
2 Likes
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