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Funny Things To Write On Facebook Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Things To Write On Facebook" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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That awkward moment when Pinocchio and Voldemort meet.
Unknown
243 Likes
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I forgot Rihanna's ex-boyfriend's name...Then it hit me...
Unknown
750 Likes
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May you live to be as old as the number of Instagram pictures you took of your birthday cake.
Unknown
192 Likes
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I'm searching Facebook for people named Hontas, just because I think it would be cool... to poke a Hontas.
Unknown
1830 Likes
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Rubix cubes are EASY....when you're color blind.
Unknown
358 Likes
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The Energizer Bunny got arrested. He was charged with battery.
Unknown
275 Likes
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Writing about your disappointments and your life is for your diary not Facebook.
Unknown
451 Likes
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What's funny about Jesus' Son is that I never even wrote that book, I just wrote it down. I would tell these stories and people would say, You should write these things down.
Denis Johnson
0 Likes
My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks. So now I have to sit down when I pee.
Unknown
664 Likes
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If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember...You can always change your birthday on facebook!
Unknown
439 Likes
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Telling someone their breath smells without hurting their feelings...'Well I'm bored, let's go brush our teeth!'
Unknown
619 Likes
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I wonder if Buzz and Woody ever met some of Andy's mom's toys. Especially since they probably have the same names...
Unknown
524 Likes
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When my girlfriend is angry, I go to Facebook and constantly refresh my relationship status to see if I'm single again.
Unknown
174 Likes
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Be careful who you tell a secret, some peoples' way of keeping secrets is posting them on Facebook.
Mwaaba Mugala
462 Likes
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I bet the NSA stopped monitoring your phone records after seeing they were all drunk dials to exes at 4 a.m.
Unknown
44 Likes
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May your daily meltdown be less public, drug-addled, and cartoonishly insane than Amanda Bynes's.
Unknown
29 Likes
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If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive...take her to the gas station.
Seth Rogen
570 Likes
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I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
Unknown
3730 Likes
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Don't ever forget the 'L' if you ever Google, 'Grandfather Clock.'
Unknown
521 Likes
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I hope the NSA is concerned about how often my mother calls me.
Unknown
42 Likes
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