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Funny Wife One Liners Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Wife One Liners" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you.
Azgraybebly Joslan
79 Likes
Funny Marriage quotes
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I'm majoring in Trophy Wife with a minor in mi.f.
Unknown
32 Likes
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A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Marvin Kitman
31 Likes
Funny quotes
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Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
Unknown
35 Likes
Funny quotes
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For years I used to bore my wife over lunch with stories about funny incidents.
James Herriot
4 Likes
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
24 Likes
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I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
Jimmy Carter
123 Likes
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My wife said she wanted something that went from 0 to 400 in 2 seconds....I got her a bathroom scale.
Unknown
472 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
24 Likes
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A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
Hussein Nishah
397 Likes
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There are 3 faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Benjamin Franklin
8 Likes
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My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life.
Unknown
41 Likes
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There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Benjamin Franklin
27 Likes
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My wife always complains that I dont take her anywhere expensive... so I took her to the Gas Station.
Unknown
1255 Likes
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I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track. But yes, I don't like to get Maudlin. And I have a tendency towards it.
Gene Wilder
3 Likes
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Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window. If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in.
Nikhil Saluja
103 Likes
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When I propose to my future wife, I'm going to put a ring in a Pokeball, get down on one knee, and say 'I choose you.'
Unknown
105 Likes
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My wife and I are trying to have a child. But it's so hard to take one out of Chuck E Cheese without anyone noticing...
Unknown
232 Likes
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My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
Bob Monkhouse
145 Likes
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I went swimming the other day and my wife was watching and she said, 'You know, it's funny, it's when you've got no clothes on, no one recognizes you.' I said, 'What are you saying? That I should do more love scenes?'
Eddie Marsan
11 Likes
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