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Jokes About Seat Be Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Jokes About Seat Be" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day. I make sure it's with an elderly person holding a baby.
Dane Cook
76 Likes
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The thing about all good horror movies is that the fans expect a couple of inside jokes. Maybe I'm supposed to be saying how terrified I was while making it, but it was really fun.
Margot Kidder
0 Likes
I'm the kind of person who would come out of the gym...And go straight to McDonalds.
Unknown
157 Likes
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I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance...she leaned over and pushed me.
Anonymous
106 Likes
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I reserve the right to tell shaggy dog stories or even common jokes as part of what I'm doing. I don't give a damn if half the audience walks out.
David Antin
9 Likes
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French wine growers fear that this year's vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the g.... treaders' sit-in.
Ronnie Corbett
23 Likes
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I recently did the David Letterman Show about my book. He was very serious and made no jokes and it caught me off guard a little bit. He was much more serious than some of the joke shows that journalists get on.
Bob Woodward
0 Likes
Today is International Sword Swallowers Day. Im sure there are lots of jokes there, but figured the legit carnies deserve a shout out.
Neil Patrick Harris
7 Likes
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
Emo Philips
409 Likes
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Dear math, grow up and solve your own stupid problems I'm sick and tired of doing it for you!
Unknown
195 Likes
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I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite. You see the trouble is he's very old fashioned. When he gives you an injection you have to bite on a bullet.
Les Dawson
59 Likes
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Of all the inventions that have helped to unify China perhaps the airplane is the most outstanding. Its ability to annihilate distance has been in direct proportion to its achievements in assisting to annihilate suspicion and misunderstanding among provincial officials far removed from one another or from the officials at the seat of government.
Madame Chiang Kai-Shek
17 Likes
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Many folks are the like the fellers that had a big tree that needed cutting down. They had committee meetings about where the tree was, what kind of saw they would use, what the best time of day to cut would be, who would be in charge, what kind of risks were involved, and on and on. Somehow they never got around to cutting down the tree. Most days, you'll be better off just grabbing a saw and going after it. The seat of do-nothing always has plenty of takers.
Uncle Phil
9 Likes
The very first time I was on a car in Atlanta, I saw the conductor - all conductors are white - ask a Negro woman to get up and take a seat farther back in order to make a place for a white man. I have also seen white men requested to leave the Negro section of the car.
Ray Stannard Baker
8 Likes
Say when I'm ready you must hold on steady we're moving off at lightening speed, yeah take a seat and wait 'till I'm ready. I'm coming so hold on steady, yeah.
Freddie Mcgregor
23 Likes
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I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and read a few books and go to college and watch the show again, they can get it on a completely different level.
Matt Groening
1 Likes
A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
Ronnie Corbett
75 Likes
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I had plenty of pi.ples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
Rodney Dangerfield
87 Likes
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Im afraid of three things: Women, snakes, and the police. They all have the ability to hurt me and make it look like it was my fault.
Nikhil Saluja
308 Likes
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Your momma is so fat when she stepped on a scale it said 1 person at a time please.
Unknown
74 Likes
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