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Liberal Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Liberal Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Robert Pattinson must be the only guy in the world who enjoys his girlfriend being on her period.
Unknown
75 Likes
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Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.
Unknown
224 Likes
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The openness of rural Nebraska certainly influenced me. That openness, in a way, fosters the imagination. But growing up, Lincoln wasn't a small town. It was a college town. It had record stores and was a liberal place.
Matthew Sweet
1 Likes
No man can call himself liberal, or radical, or even a conservative advocate of fair play, if his work depends in any way on the unpaid or underpaid labor of women at home or in the office
Gloria Steinem
6 Likes
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Liberal democracy - as you know, in the old days, we were saying we want socialism with a human face. Today's left effectively offers global capitalism with a human face, more tolerance, more rights and so on. So the question is, is this enough or not? Here I remain a Marxist: I think not.
Slavoj Zizek
2 Likes
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A slender acquaintance with the world must convince every man that action, not words, are the true criterion of the attachment to friends; and that the most liberal professions of good-will are very far from being the surest marks of it
George Washington
12 Likes
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Roger Ebert has had his right thumb trademarked. Now the police will actually have to pay him if he ever has to give a thumbprint.
Andy Waits
30 Likes
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Ways to die: steal my food, touch me, look through my phone.
Unknown
145 Likes
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Phyllis Diller
37 Likes
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i know you think you broke my heart, but I saw your game right from the start, I knew it well and played it too, so laugh it up the jokes on you.
Katie Johnson
51 Likes
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The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car... Is having to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
Unknown
478 Likes
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I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: they respond, they're getting the jokes, they're with me. And that' s been happening.
Dan Hicks
0 Likes
I call our bathroom 'The Vault' because the door's always locked and whatever goes on in there costs a $hitload of money.
Jeff Foxworthy
24 Likes
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That awkward moment when you pose nude for your art teacher and you flunk the course.
Unknown
19 Likes
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I made a killing in the stock market. My broker lost all my money, so I killed him.
Jim Loy
27 Likes
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I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle-baby.
Henry Youngman
41 Likes
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Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely turn their backs on their historical dishes, no matter how many jokes they might have to endure.
Nick Clooney
2 Likes
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?
Anonymous
67 Likes
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I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh.
Simon Le Bon
4 Likes
The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up next week.
Spike Milligan
11 Likes
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