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Nice Facebook When I Got To Sleep Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Nice Facebook When I Got To Sleep" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I bet the NSA stopped monitoring your phone records after seeing they were all drunk dials to exes at 4 a.m.
Unknown
44 Likes
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I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
Unknown
3730 Likes
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If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive...take her to the gas station.
Seth Rogen
570 Likes
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May your daily meltdown be less public, drug-addled, and cartoonishly insane than Amanda Bynes's.
Unknown
29 Likes
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When my girlfriend is angry, I go to Facebook and constantly refresh my relationship status to see if I'm single again.
Unknown
174 Likes
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I wonder if Buzz and Woody ever met some of Andy's mom's toys. Especially since they probably have the same names...
Unknown
524 Likes
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My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks. So now I have to sit down when I pee.
Unknown
664 Likes
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Be careful who you tell a secret, some peoples' way of keeping secrets is posting them on Facebook.
Mwaaba Mugala
462 Likes
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Don't ever forget the 'L' if you ever Google, 'Grandfather Clock.'
Unknown
521 Likes
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I hope the NSA is concerned about how often my mother calls me.
Unknown
42 Likes
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Diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans...
Unknown
265 Likes
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There is so much drama on Facebook, I'm surprised that they don't have an reunion show!
Unknown
45 Likes
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Rewarding yourself with an hour on Facebook, just for writing your name on your homework.
Unknown
167 Likes
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They broke up. Here come the depressing Twitter & Facebook statuses.
Unknown
61 Likes
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If her job description on Facebook says, 'Model,' she's most likely unemployed...
Unknown
84 Likes
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You posted a status on your friend's Facebook when he wasn't looking? Please tell me how great of a hacker you are.
Unknown
236 Likes
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Almost everybody opens their Facebook to see if they got a message. Almost nobody opens the bible, which is full of messages for them.
Unknown
57 Likes
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If I had to be any Kardashian sister, I would choose Bruce Jenner.
Unknown
61 Likes
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Some people's Facebook activity makes me want to defriend them in real life.
Unknown
40 Likes
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Mom and dad, it's okay that you're on Facebook, but please don't invade Twitter now.
Unknown
106 Likes
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