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Accidents Funny Status A Real Man Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Accidents Funny Status A Real Man" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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All our life our parents told us not to write on walls. Facebook teaches us differently.
Unknown
287 Likes
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Welcome to the real Internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are the FBI.
Unknown
347 Likes
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I don't understand those couples that fight and then a minute later change their Facebook status to 'Single.' I fight with my parents but you dont see me change my status to 'Orphan.'
Unknown
938 Likes
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A wise man knows when he has a special lady. He always puts her first, and never puts her last! Once in awhile he buys her roses, and flowers to show romance, and appreciation of having her in his life. Everyday he tells her how beautiful she is, and how much he love's her. He's not only a wise man hes a real man. Because a real man is a gentleman!
Bryan Burden
208 Likes
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We are glorious accidents of an unpredictable process with no drive to complexity, not the expected results of evolutionary principles that yearn to produce a creature capable of understanding the mode of its own necessary construction.
Stephen Jay Gould
2 Likes
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Sometimes accidents happen in life from which we have need of a little madness to extricate ourselves successfully
François De La Rochefoucauld
19 Likes
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A female officer pulls over a drunk man. The officer tells him, Anything you say will be held against you! Then the drunk man yells, TITTIES!
Unknown
988 Likes
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Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.
Unknown
501 Likes
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Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
Unknown
723 Likes
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A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.
Unknown
471 Likes
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Why is it that in girl tampons commercials they're always laughing and dancing? Shouldn't they be reving chainsaws & burning shit down?
Unknown
602 Likes
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Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want impress us, please shave a gorilla.
Unknown
499 Likes
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Apparently twilight is so popular because teenagers can relate to it. Oh yeah I remember the time when I was a vampire.
Unknown
678 Likes
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Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
Unknown
3567 Likes
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Real men like classy women, so don't expect to attract a real man if you dress, act and talk like a whor..!
Unknown
599 Likes
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Real girls stay. ho.. come and go. Little boys play around. Real men settle down.
Unknown
333 Likes
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Welcome to Facebook. The Weather today: An 80% chance of game requests, a 10% chance of pokes, and a 100% certainty of drama
Unknown
345 Likes
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Spooning For girls: A nice, warm and cozy cuddle. For guys: A dead arm, a face full of hair and a awkward boner that you can't do anything about.
Unknown
424 Likes
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Men were born between a woman's legs and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in them. There's no place like home.
Unknown
666 Likes
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Are you free tomorrow? No, Im fu..ing expensive.
Unknown
2521 Likes
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