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Funny Facebook Status For Women Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook Status For Women" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I'm glad it's finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.
Unknown
225 Likes
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You know you are addicted to Facebook when you log off Facebook, turn your computer off, go to bed, role over, and log onto your Facebook from your phone one last time for the night.
Azgraybebly Josland
415 Likes
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I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they call, I always say I'll be there in 5 minutes.
Unknown
264 Likes
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I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering, 98 of them said: How the hell did you get in here?
Nikhil Saluja
208 Likes
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The government may force me to have health insurance but they can never force me to respect my body.
Unknown
45 Likes
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Slut jokes are just whor..able.
Unknown
524 Likes
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Facebook: the only book teens read these days.
Azgraybebly Joslan
408 Likes
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Liking your own status, is like high-fiving yourself in public...
Unknown
201 Likes
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I got expelled from the public library for putting all the 'Women's Rights' books in the fiction section.
Unknown
227 Likes
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A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.
Unknown
471 Likes
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Ever had s.. while camping? It's fu..ing in tents.
Unknown
410 Likes
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Roses are red, Facebook is blue...you look bangable, so I'll add you.
Unknown
239 Likes
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I like my women like I like my weekend - short, filled with liquor and gone by Monday.
Unknown
393 Likes
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The hardest part of a business, is minding your own.
Unknown
635 Likes
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Hey Vegetarians, my food shits on your food.
Unknown
348 Likes
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Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.
Unknown
1931 Likes
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My diabetic neighbor died in his sleep. I forgot to wish him 'sweet dreams.'
Unknown
282 Likes
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I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: 'What do you do at a red light?' Me: 'I usually respond to texts and check my Facebook.'
Unknown
758 Likes
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Oh, you lost your cell phone on vibrate? If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it.
Unknown
457 Likes
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Dear people who update their Facebook status every 30 seconds, there's Twitter for a reason!
Unknown
7813 Likes
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