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Funny Facebook Status Hacks Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook Status Hacks" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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If you try to watch the movie Titanic backwards...it's actually about a magical boat that saves people.
Unknown
839 Likes
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Mitt Romney should change his first name to Fetch, because he's never going to happen.
Unknown
113 Likes
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Vodka-$19.99. Motel-$54.99. Condoms-$2.99. Finding Out She Swallows... PRICELESS!!!!! fu.. Visa, It Pays To Discover!!!!!
Unknown
706 Likes
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CONGRATULATIONS! You've won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
Unknown
305 Likes
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A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.
Unknown
471 Likes
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I wonder if Chinese tourists get upset when they buy a souvenir from America and find out it was made in China...
Unknown
364 Likes
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Dear Jesus, I can afford wine. How about you start turning water into gas?
Unknown
260 Likes
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If the professor doesn't show up to class in the first 15 minutes, you get to leave. Somebody make that a law, please.
Unknown
121 Likes
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Let's promise we'll always stay close friends but ultimately settle for periodic glances at each other's Facebook status updates.
Unknown
27 Likes
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I probably could stand a chance on American Idol if I could bring my shower on stage.
Unknown
479 Likes
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I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me.....Wait.....
Unknown
573 Likes
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My Lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my Birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch."
Unknown
1197 Likes
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That awkward moment, when you're walking through the metal detector and your abs of steel set it off.
Unknown
436 Likes
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I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy.
Jarod Kintz
80 Likes
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Dear Facebook peeps: Please stop showing photos of animal cruelty and dead pets. If I want to be depressed I'll just youtube the Sarah M commercial.
Unknown
91 Likes
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Women are like internet viruses they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile...
Unknown
561 Likes
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Welcome to Facebook: Where ho.. call out ho.. when they should be calling out themselves, where people claim their real when really their faker then Pamela Anderson's boobies, where lame a.. dudes talk about how their balling and got money to blow but really they can't even afford a mcdouble from McDonald's and their living with their parents on the down low, where people post pics of food claiming they made it when they know damn well it's just a tv dinner, where chicks post pics wearing almost nothing trying to get as many likes as they can and they call guys desperate when their the ones looking desperate in the first place! It's more like welcome to drama-Fakebook
Bryan Burden
761 Likes
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I hate two-faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.
Unknown
764 Likes
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Mom, thank you for all that you've done and still do. I do love you and no one can replace my love to you.
OhItsVynn
416 Likes
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Call Of Duty will really have a guy thinking about joining the army...then you realize how many times you died.
Unknown
326 Likes
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