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Funny Farting In Front Of Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Farting In Front Of" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
Les Dawson
1182 Likes
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If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn't want me here either.
Unknown
178 Likes
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Shortest horror story in history: Tomorrow is Monday.
Unknown
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SINGLE AND (maybe if youre attractive funny and educated and/or Ryan Gosling ) READY TO MINGLE.
Unknown
281 Likes
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The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it.
Dwight Eisenhower
48 Likes
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Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty sho...
Unknown
1758 Likes
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Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.
Ogden Nash
150 Likes
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The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.
Joe Rogan
2 Likes
Trust me, when I woke up today I had no plans to be awesome, but shit happens.
Unknown
660 Likes
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The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.
Slappy White
16 Likes
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So I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the riots... and all these Brit people are trying to sympathize with me... 'Oh Bill, crime is horrible. Bill, if it's any consolation crime is horrible here, too.' ...Shutup. This is Hobbitown and I am Bilbo Hicks, Okay? This is a land of fairies and elves. You do not have crime like we have crime, but I appreciate you trying to be, you know, Diplomatic. You gotta see English crime. It's hilarious, you don't know if you're reading the front page or the comic section over there. I swear to God. I read an article front page of the paper one day, in England, 'Yesterday, some Hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shafsbry.' ...Wooooo. 'The hooligans are loose! The hooligans are loose! ...What if they become roughians? I would hate to be a dustbin in Shafsbry tonight. (to the tune of "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who) No one knows what it's like... to be a dustbin... in Shafsbry... with hooligans...' What the HELL are you talkin' ab
Bill Hicks
18 Likes
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So I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the riots... and all these Brit people are trying to sympathize with me... 'Oh Bill, crime is horrible. Bill, if it's any consolation crime is horrible here, too.' ...Shutup. This is Hobbitown and I am Bilbo Hicks, Okay? This is a land of fairies and elves. You do not have crime like we have crime, but I appreciate you trying to be, you know, Diplomatic. You gotta see English crime. It's hilarious, you don't know if you're reading the front page or the comic section over there. I swear to God. I read an article front page of the paper one day, in England, 'Yesterday, some Hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shafsbry.' ...Wooooo. 'The hooligans are loose! The hooligans are loose! ...What if they become roughians? I would hate to be a dustbin in Shafsbry tonight. (to the tune of "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who) No one knows what it's like... to be a dustbin... in Shafsbry... with hooligans...' What the HELL are you talkin' ab
Bill Hicks
19 Likes
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God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison Keillor
1907 Likes
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The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact that its my cellphone.
Unknown
1254 Likes
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Don't cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.
Unknown
1833 Likes
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A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table theres nothing wrong with them, but its hard to stop thinking about it.
Unknown
23 Likes
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You know, he would go and look at different funny books because he wanted his character to be different and make different faces. I saw a funny book in his room and it looked like the same character he was playing. It was about a duck.
Bubba Smith
6 Likes
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
Jean Baudrillard
38 Likes
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Some people are really going all out for Halloween. The guy driving behind me even got sirens & flashing lights to go with his cop costume.
Unknown
355 Likes
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I love how when my soap runs out in the shower, my shampoo magically transforms into body wash.
Unknown
561 Likes
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