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Funny Human Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Human" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Trust me, when I woke up today I had no plans to be awesome, but shit happens.
Unknown
660 Likes
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Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.
Ogden Nash
150 Likes
Funny Marriage quotes
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Each of us in our own way can try to spread compassion into peoples hearts. Western civilizations these days place great importance on filling the human 'brain' with knowledge, but no one seems to care about filling the human 'heart' with compassion. This is what the real role of religion is.
Dalai Lama
14 Likes
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A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table theres nothing wrong with them, but its hard to stop thinking about it.
Unknown
23 Likes
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Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.
Robert Maynard Hutchins
77 Likes
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You know, he would go and look at different funny books because he wanted his character to be different and make different faces. I saw a funny book in his room and it looked like the same character he was playing. It was about a duck.
Bubba Smith
6 Likes
I love how when my soap runs out in the shower, my shampoo magically transforms into body wash.
Unknown
561 Likes
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God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison Keillor
1907 Likes
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The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact that its my cellphone.
Unknown
1254 Likes
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I resolve to stop having meaningless s.. in 2014, so I suggest you pay me a compliment or get me liquored up ASAP.
Unknown
17 Likes
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Don't cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.
Unknown
1833 Likes
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Some people are really going all out for Halloween. The guy driving behind me even got sirens & flashing lights to go with his cop costume.
Unknown
355 Likes
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There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
Jean Baudrillard
38 Likes
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Chris Hemsworth is like Christopher Reeve in that he can do two things: he can wear a big red cape without a shred of self-consciousness. But he's also funny as hell, and he's so sweet. So with all the fish-out-of-water stuff, he's so funny. So he does almost two jobs in a way.
Tom Hiddleston
7 Likes
Here's to drinking enough that we'll need Ryan Seacrest to help us count backwards from ten.
Unknown
5 Likes
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I hope your summer is just like a little box filled with surprises.
Unknown
103 Likes
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True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.
Unknown
76 Likes
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Funny in Michigan you can be a seasonal boyfriend and in the summer you can take off But in the winter you gotta be on lock.
Unknown
64 Likes
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It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for life.
Jimi Hendrix
1546 Likes
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It's funny how the people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
Unknown
363 Likes
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