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Funny Jokes About Being Single Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Jokes About Being Single" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
11 Likes
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People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
Hussein Nishah
303 Likes
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
Wanda Sykes
0 Likes
Stop complaining about being single. We have bigger problems here. Like why McDonalds doesn't serve breakfast after 10:30.
Amit Verma
379 Likes
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I still miss my ex, but my aim is getting better.
Unknown
677 Likes
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When you are single, the only people complaining about music volume are the neighbors.
Unknown
11 Likes
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If swimming is such a good way to stay in shape; Explain whales...
Unknown
175 Likes
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At the gym Boy doing sit-ups: '1...2...3...' Hot girl walks by Boy: '97...98...99...'
Unknown
193 Likes
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
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People may think he's not perfect but in my mind he's beyond perfect when you're able to look into his eyes and see the real him. Having his arms wrapped around you because he cares more about you than anything, the way he says I love you and those cute little inside jokes nobody else would understand the way he giggles at your jokes even when they aren't even funny or the way he talks about you to his friends it makes you realize how much he means to you. His flaws make him perfect and when I'm around him I feel like everything's okay again and he's the solution to all my problems.
Unknown
564 Likes
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So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'
Henry Youngman
167 Likes
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All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
Don't worry if you're still single. God is looking at you right now saying, "I'm saving this girl for someone special."
Unknown
1828 Likes
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Single doesn't mean lonely. Single means you're preparing for the arrival of a BETTER love.
Unknown
158 Likes
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Being single doesn't mean you don't know anything about love, it just means you know enough to wait for it.
Unknown
114 Likes
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When you are single and you buy something yummy, you don't have to buy twice as much.
Unknown
19 Likes
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What do you call a blind German? A not see!
Unknown
133 Likes
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Being single is a gift, take time to learn more about it and to enjoy it. You will find every reason not to be single again once you embrace all of its concepts with solutions!
Merle Rutledge Jr
77 Likes
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I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.
Kevin Meaney
175 Likes
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I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
Unknown
618 Likes
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