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Funny Jokes On Marriages One Liners Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Jokes On Marriages One Liners" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
Bob Monkhouse
145 Likes
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I write for Reader's Digest. It's not hard. All you do is copy out an article and mail it in again.
Milt Kamen
51 Likes
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The roses have wilted, The violets are dead, Sugar is lumpy And so is your head.
Unknown
112 Likes
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
Dennis Miller
44 Likes
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Want to look skinny without losing any weight? Hang out with fat people.
Unknown
210 Likes
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I once made love to a female clown, and she twisted my pe..s into a poodle.
Dan Whitney
109 Likes
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
Rodney Dangerfield
28 Likes
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Children always know when company is in the living room - they can hear their mother laughing at their father's jokes
Unknown
73 Likes
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My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?'
Steven Wright
72 Likes
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Robert Pattinson must be the only guy in the world who enjoys his girlfriend being on her period.
Unknown
75 Likes
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The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar.
Sam Ewing
25 Likes
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Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.
Unknown
224 Likes
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I had a dream that I was drowning in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta sea.
Unknown
93 Likes
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If my jokes offend you: 1. Im sorry. 2. It wont happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. and 4. get over it.
Unknown
124 Likes
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I'd rather laugh in bed than do it. If I went to a lady of the night, I'd probably pay her to tell me jokes. Would that be perverted?
Billy Joel
16 Likes
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To all those who said I couldn't make jokes about blind people...watch me.
Unknown
73 Likes
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A good wife comes from God and a good husband comes from the bank.
Evans Amecha
51 Likes
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I can't just say the words, do a lot of one-liners. I love each person I play; I have to be that person. I have to do him true.
Richard Pryor
51 Likes
A book does not make bad jokes, drink too much or eat more than you can afford to pay for.
Kenneth Turan
129 Likes
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Family jokes, through rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.
Stella Benson
20 Likes
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