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Funny Parent Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Parent Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
The truth of the matter is, you lose a parent to murder when you're 10 years old, and in fact at the time of the murder you hate your lost parent, my mother in my case
James Ellroy
15 Likes
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Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?
George Bernard Shaw
354 Likes
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The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
Will Rogers
147 Likes
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If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
Bob Edwards
50 Likes
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The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
Unknown
371 Likes
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To be a parent, especially to rock 'n' roll kids, I think being a parent is the most difficult job on the face of the earth, ... You hate to say things that will upset your kids, but then sometimes you have to because you can't let them run around wild.
Ozzy Osbourne
7 Likes
Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
Michael Levine
22 Likes
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Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't sell drugs. The government hates competition.
Hussein Nishah
526 Likes
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To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
Oscar Wilde
9 Likes
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It is by vivacity and wit that man shines in company; but trite jokes and loud laughter reduce him to a buffoon.
Lord Chesterfield
18 Likes
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright
47 Likes
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Did you hear about the new reversible jackets? I can't wait to see how they turn out.
Nikhil Saluja
226 Likes
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I stepped on a cornflake this morning...I'm a cereal killer now!
Unknown
294 Likes
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So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'
Tommy Cooper
17 Likes
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Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...I will find you. You have my Word.
Unknown
110 Likes
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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres
84 Likes
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.
Tommy Cooper
44 Likes
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Wanna play a joke on your chiropractor? The next time he starts working on you, go limp and soil yourself.
Mike Wilmot
89 Likes
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If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!
Milton Jones
245 Likes
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I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.
Tommy Cooper
72 Likes
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