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Funny Wednesday Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Wednesday Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got cut off? He's all right now.
Unknown
52 Likes
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
23 Likes
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Lebron: I'm proposing to my girl. Kobe: With what?
Unknown
142 Likes
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If the 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still 2?
Unknown
224 Likes
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
Spike Milligan
16 Likes
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What do you call a fake noodle??? An impasta.
Unknown
172 Likes
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You look like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Unknown
498 Likes
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I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
Unknown
618 Likes
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So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said My dog's died.'
Tim Vine
18 Likes
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Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.
Rob Corddry
11 Likes
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Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
1 Likes
I'm positive I lost an electron, I better keep an ion that.
Unknown
144 Likes
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I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
Jimmy Carter
123 Likes
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I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.
Tommy Cooper
20 Likes
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I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.
Victoria Wood
80 Likes
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Foot: A special device for finding furniture in the dark.
Unknown
29 Likes
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I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
Billy Connolly
142 Likes
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There's an old saying - There's No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the house next door, and it was very similar.
Geoffrey Parfitt
35 Likes
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Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don't have to.
Amit Verma
99 Likes
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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright
461 Likes
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