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Only Status Papa Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Only Status Papa" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I bought a pack of gum...I don't need a 3ft receipt.
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China is only winning the Olympics because they made all the equipment...
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398 Likes
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My wife said she wanted something that went from 0 to 400 in 2 seconds....I got her a bathroom scale.
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Friends are like condoms. They are always there to protect you when things get hard.
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614 Likes
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The only reason I still have a land line is so that I can call my cell and find out where I left it.
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Lifes like a bird, its pretty cute until it dumps on your head.
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I restart the whole song when I miss my favorite part.
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128 Likes
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No matter how old I get, I'm still gonna mentally sing the ABC's to see which letter comes next.
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73 Likes
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Just saw two deaf girls arguing, one said, 'bi... better keep my name out your hands.'
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258 Likes
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I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they fu.. up I will just hit them all at once.
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496 Likes
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That awkward moment when something in a dollar store isn't $1.
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77 Likes
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I can't believe it's 2012 and there is still no fold button on my dryer.
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81 Likes
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If the Olympics were more like the Hunger Games I think I'd probably watch more of it.
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I have a memory foam mattress...and I really hope that it doesn't remember everything.
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I think bathrooms should be soundproof so we can sing as loudly as we want to.
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Advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.
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128 Likes
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Starbuck's drinks are pretty much Jesus in a beverage.
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23 Likes
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Just a heads up that we aren't going into that war you heard about in between twerking videos.
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There's nothing more comfortable than sleeping while someone else gets ready for work.
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86 Likes
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I'm not saying she was stupid, but I asked her how to spell Mississippi and she said 'the river or the state?'
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