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Sarcastic 5 Word Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Sarcastic 5 Word" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I hate it when skinny people say they ain't skinny enough.
Unknown
92 Likes
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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Smith
532 Likes
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Homework: Because 7 hours of school wasn't enough...
Unknown
305 Likes
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You posted a status on your friend's Facebook when he wasn't looking? Please tell me how great of a hacker you are.
Unknown
236 Likes
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As I was filling up my gas tank I realized I didn't want to eat this week anyways.
Unknown
296 Likes
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Don't you hate it when you're doing push-ups and you lose count after 1,000...
Unknown
147 Likes
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Oh you're talking to me, I thought you only spoke behind my back!
Unknown
321 Likes
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May you maintain the same fake enthusiasm for the holidays as North Koreans did for Kim Jong II.
Unknown
30 Likes
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I forgot to post on Facebook that I was going to the gym...Now this whole work-out was a waste of time.
Unknown
308 Likes
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If you miss 100% of the shots you don't take and 100% of the shots you do take, then you are at least consistent.
Unknown
16 Likes
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Of course I believe in God, who else can I blame for my misfortunes.
Melchor Lim
67 Likes
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Time to start being all smart and stuff again...such a hassle, I'd rather be silly and sarcastic ALL the time
Unknown
21 Likes
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I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.
Jarod Kintz
126 Likes
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I've put a lot of thought into asking Siri what to get you for Christmas.
Unknown
17 Likes
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Here's hoping Santa doesn't get killed using Apple Maps this Christmas.
Unknown
50 Likes
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Love is a minefield. You take a step and get blown to pieces put yourself back together again and stupidly take another step. I guess that's human nature. It hurts so much to be alone that we'd all rather blow up than be single.
Kate Welles
108 Likes
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Why do po.. sites have a 'Share to Facebook' button? Who watches po.. and thinks, 'You know who'd really enjoy this? My family and friends.'
Unknown
328 Likes
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This year I plan to start putting off my Christmas shopping extra early.
Unknown
58 Likes
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Merry Christmas to someone who'd care more about Baby Jesus if he was in Kate Middleton's uterus.
Unknown
14 Likes
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Pretending to believe in the Mayan apocalypse prophecy is a great way to get out of buying Christmas presents.
Unknown
32 Likes
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