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Very Funny Facebook Statusholes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Very Funny Facebook Statusholes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Unknown
2332 Likes
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You didn't want to be my friend in elementary school. You didn't want to be my friend in junior high school. And you certainly weren't my friend in high school. Why on Earth do you want to be my Facebook friend today?
William E Lewis Jr
179 Likes
Facebook quotes
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Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while. (X) fu.. it. I'll buy my own shit.
Unknown
917 Likes
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Face your problems don't Facebook your problems.
Unknown
1399 Likes
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Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands.
Unknown
984 Likes
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Dance like the photos not being tagged. Love like you've never been unfriended. Sing like nobody's following. Share like you care. And do it all like it wont end up on Youtube!
Raymond Estrada
634 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I'd be more upset about the NSA accessing my phone records if I used my phone for anything but texting and taking pictures of my d..k.
Unknown
45 Likes
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When ever I get a headache I take two tablet of aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.
Hussein Nishah
855 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Linkedin invitations are like herpes...They pop up from time to time to remind you they still exist and nobody wants them.
Unknown
117 Likes
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If someone says expect the unexpected slap them in the face and say 'I bet you didn't expect that!'
Unknown
427 Likes
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I hate weddings. Old people would poke me saying You're next. They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, You're next.
Unknown
3215 Likes
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The awkward moment, when Usain Bolt runs faster than your internet connection.
Unknown
293 Likes
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I like to put things back where I got them from when I am done using them...so I dropped your mom off at the bar.
Unknown
232 Likes
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Welcome to Facebook. The Weather today: An 80% chance of game requests, a 10% chance of pokes, and a 100% certainty of drama
Unknown
345 Likes
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The day Rick Ross dives into the crowd, is the day we find out who his true fans are.
Kevin Hart
801 Likes
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Dear Teacher. Please stop make us sleepy, we have no bed in class. Sincerely, students.
OhItsVynn
216 Likes
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One day I might just change all of my passwords to 'Women' since nobody can seem to figure them out.
Unknown
409 Likes
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I'm glad it's finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.
Unknown
225 Likes
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When people call you photogenic, they're actually trying to tell you that you look uglier than your pics..
Ritu Ghatourey
1439 Likes
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If Facebook ruins relationships then guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk & spoons make you fat.
Unknown
417 Likes
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