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Bathroom Pun Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Bathroom Pun" sorted by relevance. 180 matching entries found.
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Mom: I see that you're all dressed up, where are you going? Daughter: To the bathroom, I need a new Facebook picture.
Unknown
580 Likes
Facebook quotes
Facebook Status quotes
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In the bathroom to bust a shit, I couldn't do it so my bi... came to suck the d..k, It was hard and soft but hard enough to penetrate the slit, Bout 20 minutes damn near fainted when it was time to spit.
Tech N9ne
20 Likes
I'm very happy with the way I look. I wake up some morning, catch myself in the bathroom mirror, and go, 'hey girl, you're alright'. But on the other hand, I find the website stuff, and the polls, something completely removed from my own personal life. You can't take anything like that too seriously, otherwise you'd end up in the loony bin.
Cameron Diaz
0 Likes
One day I actually took the list into the bathroom and I put it up against my face and looked in the mirror and I realized I had one of two choices, change the list or change myself.
Star Jones
4 Likes
I read something the other day that made me piss myself. It was a sign that said: 'Bathroom closed.'
Unknown
572 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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That awkward moment when you notice your fly is open, and have to go back and think through every social encounter youve had since the last time you went to the bathroom.
Unknown
178 Likes
Awkward Moment quotes
I can't live without my beauty products. I love to be in my bathroom with my candles lit, morning, noon and night. I like taking hot baths and hot showers, using my body scrubs and lotions.
Alicia Silverstone
6 Likes
Appearance quotes
Isn't it only natural to leave a place where one is so bitterly hated?...The heroism involved in staying put in spite of it all is the heroism of a cockroach, which also won't be driven out of the bathroom.
Franz Kafka
1 Likes
Heroism quotes
Some women need to treat their body more like a temple not a bathroom...
Ray Johnson
86 Likes
Women quotes
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Dear Face Wash Commercials, nobody actually splashes their face with water like that. Sincerely, my whole damn bathroom floor is wet.
Unknown
1007 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Sisters annoy, interfere, criticize. Indulge in monumental sulks, in huffs, in snide remarks. Borrow. Break. Monopolize the bathroom. Are always underfoot. But if catastrophe should strike, sisters are there. Defending you against all comers.
Pam Brown
31 Likes
Best quotes
Sister quotes
With five girls and one bathroom, weve learned to get creative. This is how we wash around here. Our hair has always been washed in the kitchen sink. Its not like dirtiness or nothin. When you take a bath, youre sitting in your own filth pretty much, so you dont want your hair to be nasty.
Honey Boo Boo Child
6 Likes
Ross coming back from bathroom, getting ready to play poker with Rachel Ross: Your money is mine, Green. Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller.
Friends
14 Likes
Money quotes
The weirdest place I have ever written a song is probably in an airport, and I got an idea so fast that I just had to run to the bathroom at the airport, grab a paper towel and write lyrics on the paper towel. I still have it. I still have it in a box in my room.
Taylor Swift
16 Likes
Once, I was on a plane with my daughter Maude. She was screaming and screaming for a very long time. And a someone came up to me said, if you just take a little shiny thing and put it in front of her face it will calm her down. And I just wanted to you know what! laughs I just wanted to hand her the screaming kid! In a situation like that, I would go in the bathroom just to give the passengers a break, you know.
Leslie Mann
4 Likes
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The problem with Marxism is the proletariat isnt going to rise up against capitalism and consumerism. The only time theyll rise up is during a commercial break to either go to the bathroom or grab more beer.
Jarod Kintz
7 Likes
Marxism quotes
Time quotes
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Here in the bathroom with me are razor blades. Here is iodine to drink. Here are sleeping pills to swallow. You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be. Every time you dont throw yourself down the stairs, thats a choice. Every time you dont crash your car, you reenlist.
Chuck Palahniuk
35 Likes
Suicide quotes
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What is heartbreak? Heartbreak is lying on the bathroom floor, trying your hardest to breathe while at the same time wondering why it all went wrong and how you're gonna get up and pretend like everything is alright, and what the hell are you gonna do about the hole in your chest? THAT is heartbreak.
Unknown
130 Likes
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Here in the bathroom with me are razor blades. Here is iodine to drink. Here are sleeping pills to swallow. You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be. Every time you dont throw yourself down the stairs, thats a choice. Every time you dont crash your car, you reenlist.
Chuck Palahniuk
139 Likes
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One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun. The woman doctor agrees to it. So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have s.. for an hour or so. Afterwards, the man says to the woman, You're a surgeon, aren't you? Yeah, how did you know? The man says, I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started. Oh, that makes sense, says the woman. Youre an anesthesiologist aren't you? Yeah, says the man, a bit surprised. How did you know? The woman answers, Because I didn't feel a thing.
Unknown
341 Likes
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