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Funny Jewish Birth Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Jewish Birth" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers
15 Likes
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Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
Sam Levenson
30 Likes
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After your death you will be what you were before your birth.
Arthur Schopenhauer
10 Likes
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Thanks for inviting me to your baby shower, it reminded me to take my birth control pill.
Unknown
205 Likes
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I got my passport aplications sent back. Apparantly then question place of birth? Between my mother's legs isn't acceptable.
Unknown
20 Likes
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Leaving home in a sense involves a kind of second birth in which we give birth to ourselves.
Robert Neelly Bellah
36 Likes
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Solitude gives birth to the original in us, to beauty unfamiliar and perilous- to poetry. But also, it gives birth to the opposite: to the perverse, the illicit, the absurd.
Thomas Mann
1 Likes
Presently, the Commission for Commemorating 350 Years of American Jewish History has been brought about to encourage and sponsor a variety of historical activities that advance our understanding of the American Jewish experience as it marks this milestone anniversary.
Jon Porter
0 Likes
Four years ago in speaking of a Jewish nation one ran the risk of being regarded ridiculous. Today he makes himself ridiculous who denies the existence of a Jewish nation.
Theodor Herzl
1 Likes
First of all, the Jewish religion has a great deal in common with the Christian religion because, as Rabbi Gillman points out in the show, Christianity is based on Judaism. Christ was Jewish.
Barbara Walters
4 Likes
Judaism quotes
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I don't think of myself as a lady humorist. I just have boobs and parts that allow me to give birth to children, but I like to be funny with the boys and the girls.
Maya Rudolph
2 Likes
To preserve yourself as the center of the world, to stay your own best authority on everything, your own expert on all topics, infallible, omniscient. Always, every time of the month, forever: Use birth control.
Chuck Palahniuk
2 Likes
Birth quotes
It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?
Benny Hill
569 Likes
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For each age is a dream that is dying, Or one that is coming to birth.
Arthur William Edgar OShaughnessy
8 Likes
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Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know... the birth of Santa.
Bart Simpson
56 Likes
Funny Christmas quotes
God made women, have periods and give birth because He knew guys weren't strong enough to handle it.
Unknown
33 Likes
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We know that birth takes a woman from one place in her life to another. The birth of a child certainly does change her viewpoint of herself and I believe her viewpoint of the world.
Sameerah Shareef
5 Likes
Motherhood quotes
We know that birth takes a woman from one place in her life to another. The birth of a child certainly does change her viewpoint of herself and I believe her viewpoint of the world.
Sameerah Shareef
6 Likes
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Birth and death are not two different states, but they are different aspects of the same state. There is as little reason to deplore the one as there is to be pleased over the other.
Mahatma Gandhi
77 Likes
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