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Funny Jokes About Weight Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Jokes About Weight" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny.
Kiara Sellars
200 Likes
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I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.
Mark Russell
3 Likes
Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.
Unknown
2419 Likes
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Id do anything for a perfect beach body, except work out and eat less.
Unknown
160 Likes
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I am sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen, smart, funny, caring, and absolutely stunning! Yes, I am looking in the mirror!
Ash Sweeney
585 Likes
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I've often heard people talk about 'Walking a mile in my sho...' If the sho.. you are wearing are feeling heavy today, its probably due to the weight upon your shoulders. That weight might be about someone else you are carrying, or the weight of your own head filled with thoughts.
Unknown
16 Likes
Being fat is nature's way of saying, You're so good, I think I'll make more of you!
Unknown
422 Likes
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When I exercise, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.
Unknown
137 Likes
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And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
Will Rogers
206 Likes
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Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.
Robert Maynard Hutchins
77 Likes
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Don't you hate it when you're doing push-ups and you lose count after 1,000...
Unknown
147 Likes
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If you're on the treadmill next to me, the answer is yes...we are racing.
Unknown
77 Likes
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The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.
Robert Paul
2280 Likes
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I don't get why gyms have mirrors...I know what I look like. That's why I'm there.
Unknown
122 Likes
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Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
Ron Alderson
69 Likes
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Its not as simple as it seems. You shift the weight from high above your head, in your right arm, then your left, then rest it on your shoulders, adding more weight to your back, then your legs. You get a full-body workout just by finding out how many positions you can manage without having to set the weight on the ground. You also discover the stronger and weaker spots in your physique.
Matthew McConaughey
3 Likes
Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
11 Likes
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People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
Hussein Nishah
303 Likes
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I didn't think I was fat. I just thought I didn't need to gain any weight. But I would drop weight and then I would be comfortable with that number. Then I would lose more weight and that would become my new number.
Tracey Gold
4 Likes
It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
Wanda Sykes
0 Likes
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