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Funny Jokes For Kids Bithday Cards Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Jokes For Kids Bithday Cards" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
My two boys were the same ages as the kids in the show. In real life or in between the breaks I was raising two kids off camera who were not unlike the two kids who were being paid to be my kids.
Alan Thicke
1 Likes
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
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People may think he's not perfect but in my mind he's beyond perfect when you're able to look into his eyes and see the real him. Having his arms wrapped around you because he cares more about you than anything, the way he says I love you and those cute little inside jokes nobody else would understand the way he giggles at your jokes even when they aren't even funny or the way he talks about you to his friends it makes you realize how much he means to you. His flaws make him perfect and when I'm around him I feel like everything's okay again and he's the solution to all my problems.
Unknown
564 Likes
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All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'
Henry Youngman
167 Likes
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The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life.
Seann William Scott
11 Likes
Winning BET Awards is the equivalent of getting cards with no money in them.
Unknown
36 Likes
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Girlfriends are like credit cards, you can't get one unless you already have one.
Unknown
76 Likes
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These smugglers, many of them present in trafficking through my State of Arizona, create false Social Security cards, false green cards, visas and a variety of other fraudulent documents as an essential part of their smuggling activities.
John Shadegg
4 Likes
What do you call a blind German? A not see!
Unknown
133 Likes
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Consular offices make no attempt to determine whether the person obtaining the card is legally in the United States. In fact, the only people who need these cards are illegal immigrants, criminals and terrorists. Consular cards also are easily forged.
Elton Gallegly
0 Likes
I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.
Kevin Meaney
175 Likes
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Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.
Rob Corddry
11 Likes
Lebron: I'm proposing to my girl. Kobe: With what?
Unknown
142 Likes
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
23 Likes
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So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said My dog's died.'
Tim Vine
18 Likes
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
Spike Milligan
16 Likes
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I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
Unknown
618 Likes
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If the 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still 2?
Unknown
224 Likes
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You look like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Unknown
498 Likes
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