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Funny Jokes On Marriages One Liners Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Jokes On Marriages One Liners" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Kill ni...s with one-liners, all I need is one lighter. Counting so much money, I got arthritis.
2 Chainz
35 Likes
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
Wanda Sykes
0 Likes
It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!
Richard Jeni
38 Likes
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At the gym Boy doing sit-ups: '1...2...3...' Hot girl walks by Boy: '97...98...99...'
Unknown
193 Likes
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If swimming is such a good way to stay in shape; Explain whales...
Unknown
175 Likes
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
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People may think he's not perfect but in my mind he's beyond perfect when you're able to look into his eyes and see the real him. Having his arms wrapped around you because he cares more about you than anything, the way he says I love you and those cute little inside jokes nobody else would understand the way he giggles at your jokes even when they aren't even funny or the way he talks about you to his friends it makes you realize how much he means to you. His flaws make him perfect and when I'm around him I feel like everything's okay again and he's the solution to all my problems.
Unknown
564 Likes
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So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'
Henry Youngman
167 Likes
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All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
What do you call a blind German? A not see!
Unknown
133 Likes
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I dont know whether Ill ever get married. Ive seen too many supposedly happy marriages go down. Ive been as shocked as anyone. No one can look at the marriages of other people and make a judgement. I dont know the private lives o the actors I work with. I just know if they are good actors or good directors.
Leonardo DiCaprio
10 Likes
I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.
Kevin Meaney
175 Likes
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Allowing gay marriages isn't nearly the gayest thing about California.
Unknown
40 Likes
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Lebron: I'm proposing to my girl. Kobe: With what?
Unknown
142 Likes
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You look like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Unknown
498 Likes
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If the 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still 2?
Unknown
224 Likes
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I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
Unknown
618 Likes
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What do you call a fake noodle??? An impasta.
Unknown
172 Likes
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Hi. Um, my camel called...he wants his toe back!
Unknown
59 Likes
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
Spike Milligan
16 Likes
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