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Funny Party Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Party Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'
Tommy Cooper
17 Likes
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright
47 Likes
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We are the people are parents warned us about.
Unknown
16 Likes
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We are in a period when old questions are settled and the new are not yet brought forward. Extreme party action, if continued in such a time, would ruin the party. Moderation is its only chance. The party out of power gains by all partisan conduct of those in power.
Rutherford B Hayes
1 Likes
New opinions often appear first as jokes and fancies, then as blasphemies and treason, then as questions open to discussion, and finally as established truths.
George Bernard Shaw
306 Likes
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Being on tour together and being constantly with the same few people means we now think the same things are funny, we have inside jokes and stuff. Musically there are bands we all love to listen to: Bloc Party being one of them. There arent many we agree on. Greenday, 311, RHCP rock/funk got me wanting to be in a band in the first place. Disashi comes from a very rock background and hes really into Jimi Hendrix which I think shines through on his guitar solos on ACASC. Our bass player is into a lot of reggae. Travis is all over the place with singing and rapping this is the first album he sings complete songs rather than rapping a little in them. There were tracks where we were like, where do we fit in the rap part? and it didnt feel right to put one in. It wasnt a conscious movement away from rap, we made that decision to suit the songs.
Gym Class Heroes
7 Likes
It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.
Garry Shandling
103 Likes
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Boy: Why can't tampons talk? Girl: Because they're stuck up bi...es.
Dylan Nace
227 Likes
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield
152 Likes
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Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's.
Billy Connolly
32 Likes
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Tommy Cooper
44 Likes
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
Milton Berle
47 Likes
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Dear metabolism, I'll miss you...
Unknown
58 Likes
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I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'
Tommy Cooper
41 Likes
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I was born in Alabama. I was raised in Georgia. I'm so Southern I'm related to myself. I have a 12-year-old daughter. She takes after my daddy. She ought to. She's his.
Brett Butler
200 Likes
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Someone will invite you to a Karaoke party.
Unknown
13 Likes
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Cocaine is Gods way of saying you're making to much money.
Unknown
28 Likes
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I'm going to do everything in my power to make your bachelorette party all about me.
Unknown
5 Likes
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My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
Wendy Leibman
111 Likes
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