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Funny Wife One Liners Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Wife One Liners" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I said to the wife, Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in this road except one. And she said, I'll bet it's that stuck up Phyllis at number 23.
Max Kauffmann
100 Likes
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I will always be here for you waiting, while you're a THOUSAND MILES AWAY from me.
Unknown
117 Likes
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I haven't got a car or a house. I've got a wife, but I didn't pay for her! I spend all my money on my glorious wife. She's here with a knife at my throat!
Mackenzie Crook
0 Likes
I wish R.I.P stood for [R]eturn [I]f [P]ossible.
Unknown
302 Likes
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I know a baseball star who wouldn't report the theft of his wife's credit cards because the thief spends less than she does.
Joe Garagiola
11 Likes
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A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Joey Adams
21 Likes
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Please remember that your wife is a human being; if you abuse your wife physically, emotionally, or psychologically, then don't expect her to remain loyal to you.
Unknown
52 Likes
Abusive Relationship quotes
My wife's in judge of me, Murdered in cold blood is what I'm gonna be, I ain't been home since Friday night, And now my wife Is comin' after me
John Entwistle
4 Likes
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Today wasn't any different than any other day, I woke up and I thought of you.
Unknown
85 Likes
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It's so boring when you're not here. It makes it dull in the atmosphere. I hate when you're not by my side. Oh I feel so left behind.
Unknown
79 Likes
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Hearing your voice is the closest thing to touching you.
Unknown
113 Likes
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There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.
Unknown
238 Likes
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I heard someone whisper your name, but when I turned around to see who it was, I was alone. Then I realized that it was my heart telling me that I miss you.
Unknown
176 Likes
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Even though I've been married for eight years, I do separate my food in the refrigerator from my wife's. I put labels on it that say 'This is Will's leftover chicken' or whatever. And if you touch it, yeah, I get livid.
Will Ferrell
26 Likes
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Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio
Unknown
4385 Likes
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My wife said I was bad in bed so I banged her on the coffee table. Location. Location. Location.
Unknown
11 Likes
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I am a mother and wife outside of my acting. So a day as Stacey dash is the same as the next wife/mother. I spend time with my son and daughter as well as my husband. I just enjoy spending time with them. I mean ,we grocery shop,I take my daughter to dance class, I do what every devoted mother/wife does
Stacey Dash
43 Likes
Who persuaded you to cut off the nose of your wife's lover? Wretched husband, that was not the part which outraged you! Fool, what have you done? Your wife has lost nothing by the operation
Marcus Aurelius
18 Likes
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Who persuaded you to cut off the nose of your wife's lover? Wretched husband, that was not the part which outraged you! Fool, what have you done? Your wife has lost nothing by the operation
Marcus Aurelius
10 Likes
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Who persuaded you to cut off the nose of your wife's lover? Wretched husband, that was not the part which outraged you! Fool, what have you done? Your wife has lost nothing by the operation
Marcus Aurelius
7 Likes
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