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Funny Witty F Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Witty F" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Instead of cleaning my house, I just watched an episode of Hoarders. Now I don't feel so bad.
Unknown
98 Likes
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You know what guys & parking spaces have in common? The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicaps.
Nishan Panwar
366 Likes
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Why do po.. sites have a 'Share to Facebook' button? Who watches po.. and thinks, 'You know who'd really enjoy this? My family and friends.'
Unknown
328 Likes
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I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
Unknown
350 Likes
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When people call you photogenic, they're actually trying to tell you that you look uglier than your pics..
Ritu Ghatourey
1439 Likes
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Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right.
Matthew Perry
5 Likes
Roses are red, violets are blue, you thought I would cry over you. I told you I loved you, and you thought it was true. Well guess what player, you got played too!
Unknown
235 Likes
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True love is waking up next to your partner and thinking Well, I could smother them with a pillow or make breakfast. Sigh. Pancakes it is.
Unknown
468 Likes
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Actually no, my status wasn't aimed at you, but hey, if the shoe fits, feel free to wear it.
Unknown
195 Likes
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Actually no, my status wasn't aimed at you, but hey, if the shoe fits, feel free to wear it.
Unknown
135 Likes
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If people could see the face I make when I read their Facebook status updates, they would probably Unfriend me.
Unknown
384 Likes
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Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.
Unknown
88 Likes
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One big school, full of fake bi...es.
Unknown
175 Likes
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Dear Facebook, thanks for reminding me why moving away from my hometown was the best decision ever.
Unknown
106 Likes
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Chris Brown punching ho.., Ochocinco headbutting ho.., bus drivers uppercutting ho.., these ho.. wont be acting up much longer!
Unknown
122 Likes
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I've never had a humble opinion. If you've got an opinion, why be humble about it?
Joan Baez
7 Likes
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Brevity is the soul of wit.
Unknown
25 Likes
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The word swag is soo stupid. Swag is just a way for a man, to call another man s..y, and not feel gay about it.
Unknown
253 Likes
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When people talk like a hoe, dress like a hoe, walk like a hoe, act like a hoe, but get mad when someone calls them a hoe? Stupid hoe.
Unknown
277 Likes
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My New Year's resolution is to never tell you what the person looks like who you kissed on New Year's.
Unknown
27 Likes
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