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Jokes About Spining On A Chair Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Jokes About Spining On A Chair" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'
Tommy Cooper
17 Likes
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.
Tommy Cooper
44 Likes
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I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.
Tommy Cooper
72 Likes
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The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
Stephen Wright
4 Likes
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Tommy Cooper
44 Likes
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Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pi.ps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pi.p is a whole other thing.
Chris Rock
11 Likes
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Boy: Why can't tampons talk? Girl: Because they're stuck up bi...es.
Dylan Nace
227 Likes
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The reason most comedies don't win awards is that the filmmakers put the comedy first. This means you have to create a story around the jokes.
Paul Feig
0 Likes
I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me.
Jensen Ackles
19 Likes
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield
152 Likes
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If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made broccoli a lot more fun to hunt!
Unknown
74 Likes
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If a red head guy works at a bakery, does that make him a ginger bread man?
Unknown
78 Likes
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I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'
Tommy Cooper
41 Likes
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Dear metabolism, I'll miss you...
Unknown
58 Likes
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When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly - constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour. It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence.
Evan Dando
2 Likes
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I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.
Garry Shandling
103 Likes
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
Milton Berle
47 Likes
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Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's.
Billy Connolly
32 Likes
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I was born in Alabama. I was raised in Georgia. I'm so Southern I'm related to myself. I have a 12-year-old daughter. She takes after my daddy. She ought to. She's his.
Brett Butler
200 Likes
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Parents give every moment of their happiness for your comfort and joy. Parents are the to guide you, and show ways to make you stand in the storm of time. They hide you in pains and suffering, and ready to take on any event to protect you. Treat your parents with loving care. For you will only know their value, when you see their empty chair.
Dr Anil Kr Sinha
29 Likes
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