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Top 100 Funny Facebook Status Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Top 100 Funny Facebook Status Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Congratulations on buying a car that will go 0-60 in 5 seconds whether you want it to or not.
Unknown
56 Likes
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You're so much better than A-Rod at concealing your drug use on the job.
Unknown
50 Likes
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Unless your name is GOOGLE...stop acting like you KNOW EVERYTHING...
Unknown
1570 Likes
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In today's world, the key to success is to delete your Facebook account!
Unknown
972 Likes
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Scientist say that universe is made up of Electrons, Protons and Neutrons...They forgot to mention MORONS...
Unknown
396 Likes
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Actually no, my status wasn't aimed at you, but hey, if the shoe fits, feel free to wear it.
Unknown
135 Likes
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Actually no, my status wasn't aimed at you, but hey, if the shoe fits, feel free to wear it.
Unknown
195 Likes
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If a bra is called an 'Over the shoulder bolder holder,' then would you call men's underwear 'Under the butt nut hut?'
Unknown
486 Likes
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James Gandolfini's heart attack at age 51 has inspired me to get in better shape after I finish rewatching all six seasons of The Sopranos.
Unknown
81 Likes
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I can't tell if you have a better life than me, or better photo filters.
Unknown
98 Likes
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Whatever you do in life, always give 100%...unless you're donating blood...
Unknown
450 Likes
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I wonder if the clothes in China say, 'Made around the corner.'
Unknown
919 Likes
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I was using Facebook hashtags before they worked.
Unknown
76 Likes
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Before s.... you help each other get naked, after s.. you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're fu..ed.
Unknown
2197 Likes
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Unknown
563 Likes
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Dance like the photos not being tagged. Love like you've never been unfriended. Sing like nobody's following. Share like you care. And do it all like it wont end up on Youtube!
Raymond Estrada
634 Likes
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When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say "Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"
Unknown
1346 Likes
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Linkedin invitations are like herpes...They pop up from time to time to remind you they still exist and nobody wants them.
Unknown
117 Likes
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I'd be more upset about the NSA accessing my phone records if I used my phone for anything but texting and taking pictures of my d..k.
Unknown
45 Likes
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When ever I get a headache I take two tablet of aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.
Hussein Nishah
855 Likes
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