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Twisted Funny Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Twisted Funny Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
Billy Connolly
142 Likes
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I can't stand people that don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' Their so stupid...
Unknown
222 Likes
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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright
461 Likes
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
Oscar Levant
93 Likes
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Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don't have to.
Amit Verma
99 Likes
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I would say a crippled joke but I cant stand them.
Unknown
109 Likes
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Foot: A special device for finding furniture in the dark.
Unknown
29 Likes
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I lost my coat, hopefully someone didn't jacket.
Unknown
78 Likes
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I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
Jimmy Carter
123 Likes
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I'm positive I lost an electron, I better keep an ion that.
Unknown
144 Likes
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I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.
Victoria Wood
80 Likes
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Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
Emo Philips
23 Likes
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I just made Romney noodles Obama self.
Unknown
123 Likes
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I met this guy who said he loved children, then I found out he was on parole for it.
Monica Piper
124 Likes
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I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.
Les Dawson
81 Likes
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
149 Likes
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with.
Alice Jane
153 Likes
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I used to be a watchmaker. It was a great job and I made my own hours.
Nikhil Saluja
56 Likes
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I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.
Jack Benny
303 Likes
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I know why Superman left Krypton. Earth was the only place he could get steroids!
Milton Berle
105 Likes
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