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Facebook Status Funny Facebook Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Facebook Status Funny Facebook Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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When you don't have a good signal on your phone and you go all lion king on it.
Unknown
133 Likes
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My daughter's really into the Halloween spirit. She's been in her pregnant lady constume for months now.
Unknown
297 Likes
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Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape on backwards.'
Unknown
921 Likes
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When people ask me plz because it's shorter than please. I tell them no because it's shorter than yes .
Unknown
357 Likes
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I have to continue reminding myself that it's Halloween so I can't rely on my instincts to shoot zombies in the head.
Unknown
120 Likes
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I wonder what the blood alcohol level is of all these mosquitos that keep biting me?
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372 Likes
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Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty sho...
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1758 Likes
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Trust me, when I woke up today I had no plans to be awesome, but shit happens.
Unknown
660 Likes
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Some people are really going all out for Halloween. The guy driving behind me even got sirens & flashing lights to go with his cop costume.
Unknown
355 Likes
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The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact that its my cellphone.
Unknown
1254 Likes
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Don't cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.
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1833 Likes
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I wish Google maps had an, 'Avoid The Ghetto Route' option.
Unknown
230 Likes
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Opening your cabinet, seeing there's about to be an avalanche of stuff falling, and quickly closing it for the next person to deal with.
Unknown
567 Likes
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I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire.
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A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.
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585 Likes
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I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
Unknown
588 Likes
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Always take your drivers license pic STONED, that way whenever you get pulled over, the cop will think you always look like that.
Unknown
451 Likes
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Did you hear about the new reversible jackets? I can't wait to see how they turn out.
Nikhil Saluja
226 Likes
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My stupid GPS can't find Rack City. bi....
Unknown
465 Likes
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I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering, 98 of them said: How the hell did you get in here?
Nikhil Saluja
208 Likes
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