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Funny Ex Husband Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Ex Husband Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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If swimming is such a good way to stay in shape; Explain whales...
Unknown
175 Likes
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At the gym Boy doing sit-ups: '1...2...3...' Hot girl walks by Boy: '97...98...99...'
Unknown
193 Likes
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The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
Joan Rivers
18 Likes
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
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People may think he's not perfect but in my mind he's beyond perfect when you're able to look into his eyes and see the real him. Having his arms wrapped around you because he cares more about you than anything, the way he says I love you and those cute little inside jokes nobody else would understand the way he giggles at your jokes even when they aren't even funny or the way he talks about you to his friends it makes you realize how much he means to you. His flaws make him perfect and when I'm around him I feel like everything's okay again and he's the solution to all my problems.
Unknown
564 Likes
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All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'
Henry Youngman
167 Likes
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What do you call a blind German? A not see!
Unknown
133 Likes
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What's funny is my husband doesn't have any tattoos at all, so he must be the very conservative one.
Ashley Scott
1 Likes
My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.
Unknown
17 Likes
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It's funny that until I actually met my husband, I never thought I'd get married.
Regina King
7 Likes
I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.
Kevin Meaney
175 Likes
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Marriage is an institution in which a Man loses his Bachelors degree, and the Woman gets her Masters.
Nikhil Saluja
347 Likes
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got cut off? He's all right now.
Unknown
52 Likes
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
23 Likes
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Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.
Rob Corddry
11 Likes
What do you call identical boobs? Identitties.
Unknown
110 Likes
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What do you call a fake noodle??? An impasta.
Unknown
172 Likes
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Lebron: I'm proposing to my girl. Kobe: With what?
Unknown
142 Likes
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Hi. Um, my camel called...he wants his toe back!
Unknown
59 Likes
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