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Funny Husband Birth Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Husband Birth" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Happy Birthday to the best husband in the world. I feel so blessed to have found true love in your arms. I feel so proud to call you my husband. May you be blessed with all that you have ever dreamt of.
Unknown
1847 Likes
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Thanks for inviting me to your baby shower, it reminded me to take my birth control pill.
Unknown
205 Likes
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Solitude gives birth to the original in us, to beauty unfamiliar and perilous- to poetry. But also, it gives birth to the opposite: to the perverse, the illicit, the absurd.
Thomas Mann
1 Likes
Leaving home in a sense involves a kind of second birth in which we give birth to ourselves.
Robert Neelly Bellah
36 Likes
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I got my passport aplications sent back. Apparantly then question place of birth? Between my mother's legs isn't acceptable.
Unknown
20 Likes
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I don't think of myself as a lady humorist. I just have boobs and parts that allow me to give birth to children, but I like to be funny with the boys and the girls.
Maya Rudolph
2 Likes
I try to be the best husband I can be, and if people respect that, that's cool. But there's no perfect husband. We just all try to do the best we can, you know what I mean?
Nick Lachey
26 Likes
My ex husband is my only weakness. When he tells me he loves me my heart melts.
Unknown
51 Likes
Ex Husband quotes
God, give me a rich husband though he be an ass
Thomas Fuller
377 Likes
Husband quotes
Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
Joan Rivers
11 Likes
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He's my favorite ex-husband. We get along great. I love to fish, and he has some beautiful property down there.
Jane Fonda
31 Likes
Ex Husband quotes
A wife asked her husband, Do you love me? Her husband laughed and stayed silent. And said, then why am I here all these years.
Unknown
44 Likes
My dad saw my husband's boss at a conference, and he said to stop paying my husband until we produce children.
Jenna Bush
0 Likes
Yeah, my husband and I just split up. I finally faced the fact that we're incompatible. I'm a Gemini and he's an asshole.
Unknown
225 Likes
Ex Husband quotes
Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? A. Shoot him again.
Unknown
127 Likes
Ex Husband quotes
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You know it's a bad day when your blind date is your ex-husband.
Unknown
77 Likes
Ex Husband quotes
I'm only upset that I'm not a widow. [On her ex-husband Tom Arnold]
Roseanne
52 Likes
Ex Husband quotes
To preserve yourself as the center of the world, to stay your own best authority on everything, your own expert on all topics, infallible, omniscient. Always, every time of the month, forever: Use birth control.
Chuck Palahniuk
2 Likes
Birth quotes
I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is improving.
Unknown
147 Likes
Ex Husband quotes
It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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