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Funny Quitting Job Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Quitting Job" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they call, I always say I'll be there in 5 minutes.
Unknown
264 Likes
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The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.
Robert Paul
2280 Likes
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I don't get why gyms have mirrors...I know what I look like. That's why I'm there.
Unknown
122 Likes
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I think cheese smells funny, but I feel bananas are funny. I'm assuming Swamp told the whole story of the executives seriously asking us to replace the banana with cheese because they thought it was funnier.
Joe Murray
2 Likes
Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
Ron Alderson
69 Likes
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Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
Zariahh Renee
378 Likes
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Stan: Francine, I want you to stop this nonsense. Francine: "Nonsense"? This job is my career. Stan: No, my job is a career. This is just some silly housewife's hobby. Francine: Oh, yeah? Well, this silly housewife loves her "hobby." She's good at it. In fact, she kicks ass! So, her big career-man husband is just going to have to deal with it. Stan: I could have assassinated you! Francine: What? Stan: Nothing.
American Dad
14 Likes
My goal for 2014 is to accomplish the goals of 2013, which I should have done in 2012, because I promised them in 2011 and planned them in 2010.
Unknown
101 Likes
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I want to kiss you at midnight and pork you at dawn.
Unknown
8 Likes
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It would be funny if, while performing an abortion, someone yelled 'abort! abort!'
Unknown
63 Likes
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I know a lot of funny people in a lot of funny places.
John Cougar Mellencamp
13 Likes
All diseases run into one, old age.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
30 Likes
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People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
Hussein Nishah
303 Likes
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I haven't had s.. in so long I am considering becoming a born again virgin.
Ryan Swain
157 Likes
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I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate, but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
Shubham Joshi
170 Likes
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A friend is 1% funny, 2% sweet, 3% caring, 4% loving, 90% good looking. Thats why I am your friend! You are so lucky.
Unknown
549 Likes
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I aint a redneck 'cause I talk American real good!
Alec Straub
164 Likes
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Your annual booze-fueled New Year's Eve spectacle will surely inspire us all to drink less in 2014.
Unknown
3 Likes
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Lets attend an opulent New Year's Eve party so we can briefly ignore the horror of our impending poverty.
Unknown
6 Likes
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Confucius says Love one another. If it doesn't work, just interchange the last two words.
Hussein Nishah
554 Likes
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