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Hawaiian Soldier Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Hawaiian Soldier Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Men in uniform are often described as serious, strict, firm and dangerous , but I would describe him as the sweetest, most gentle and most loving person that every woman would wish to have... My friend, my confidante, my hero, my soldier, the love of my life...
Unknown
208 Likes
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If a red head guy works at a bakery, does that make him a ginger bread man?
Unknown
78 Likes
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I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.
Garry Shandling
103 Likes
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The reason most comedies don't win awards is that the filmmakers put the comedy first. This means you have to create a story around the jokes.
Paul Feig
0 Likes
Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's.
Billy Connolly
32 Likes
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Tommy Cooper
44 Likes
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I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'
Tommy Cooper
41 Likes
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When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly - constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour. It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence.
Evan Dando
2 Likes
I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me.
Jensen Ackles
19 Likes
Boy: Why can't tampons talk? Girl: Because they're stuck up bi...es.
Dylan Nace
227 Likes
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The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
Stephen Wright
4 Likes
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Dear metabolism, I'll miss you...
Unknown
58 Likes
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Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pi.ps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pi.p is a whole other thing.
Chris Rock
11 Likes
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I was born in Alabama. I was raised in Georgia. I'm so Southern I'm related to myself. I have a 12-year-old daughter. She takes after my daddy. She ought to. She's his.
Brett Butler
200 Likes
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield
152 Likes
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
Milton Berle
47 Likes
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If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made broccoli a lot more fun to hunt!
Unknown
74 Likes
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First thing I killed was no kind of thing at all. It was an enemy soldier. Which is a hell of a lot easier to say, than the first thing I ever killed was a man.
Steve Mason
39 Likes
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Last christmas my sister, Geri, gave me a lovely Cloth calendar. It only took me 5 hours to sew in a Doctor's appointment...
Robert Paul
67 Likes
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I recently did the David Letterman Show about my book. He was very serious and made no jokes and it caught me off guard a little bit. He was much more serious than some of the joke shows that journalists get on.
Bob Woodward
0 Likes
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